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WITandWISDOM(tm) - April 17, 1998 THOUGHTS: Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally. - A. Lincoln (Shared by Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird List KSullivan@worldnet.att.net) SPECIAL THOUGHTS: A young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted. As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautifully wrapped gift box. Curious, and somewhat disappointed, the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the young man's name embossed in gold. Angry, he rose his voice to his father and said "with all your money, you give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house. Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care of things. When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search through his father's important papers and saw the still gift-wrapped Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. His father had carefully underlined a verse, Matt.7:11, "And if ye, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Heavenly Father which is in Heaven, give to those who ask Him?" As he read those words, a car key dropped from the back of the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words PAID IN FULL. How many times do we miss God's blessings because we can't see past our own desires??????? Darrins@netusa1.net (Shared by Chuck Ridenour) THIS & THAT: A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out . . . a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party started, two bums showed up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman told them that she would give them a meal if they will help chop some wood for her out back. Gratefully, they headed to the rear of the house. The guests arrived, and all was going well with the children having a wonderful time. But the clown hadn't shown up. After another half a hour, the clown finally called to report that he was stuck in traffic, and would probably not make the party at all. The woman was very disappointed and unsuccessfully tried to entertain the children herself. She happened to look out the window and saw one of the bums doing cartwheels across the lawn. She watched in awe as he swung from tree branches, did midair flips, and leaped high in the air. She spoke to the other bum and said, "What your friend is doing is absolutely marvelous. I have never seen such a thing. Do you think your friend would consider repeating this performance for the children at the party? I would pay him $50!" The other bum says, "Well, I dunno. Let me ask him. HEY WILLIE! FOR $50, WOULD YOU CHOP OFF ANOTHER TOE?" (Shared by Humor Break http://www.dreamhaven.org/~morph/jokes/) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: Why do mountain climbers rope themselves together? A: To prevent the sensible ones from going home. (Shared by Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird List KSullivan@worldnet.att.net) TRIVIA: In Idaho a citizen is forbidden by law to give another citizen a box of candy that weighs more than 50 pounds. (Shared by Fun Fact http://www.dreamsville.com/CSN/Wardo/fact.html Source: "2201 Fascinating Facts") |