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WITandWISDOM(tm) - April 27, 1998 THOUGHTS: Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth. - John F. Kennedy (Shared by Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird List KSullivan@worldnet.att.net) SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Jesus accepts you the way you are, but loves you too much to leave you that way. - Lee Venden (Shared by Fred Adams) THIS & THAT: PUNS I came down with laryngitis last week, and one day while I was petting a Shetland Pony at the zoo, a friend of mine asked, "How are you today?." I responded, "I'm feelin a little horse." I took my 4 year old son to see the latest Disney movie. Before the main feature was a Donald Duck cartoon. My son got up and asked to be excused and I asked him why. He told me Donald Duck always gives him Disneyspells. An ace British aviator was knighted by Queen Elizabeth. Afterwards, every time he flew over Buckingham Palace he would did his wings in salute. The Queen was asked, "Who is that?" She replied, "That's the fly-by knight!" The wife of a Las Vegas doctor telephoned a local casino and asked to have her husband paged. "Sorry, Madum," came the reply, "The house does not make doctor calls" Employees at AAMCO Mufflers complain that it is exhausting work. William Canby is credited with inventing the first computing scales, which proves that where there's a Will, there is a weigh. In Kentucky, they have equine motels to provide horses with a stabile environment. The inventor of artificial snow originally called his product Snow Fakes. The Janitors Union went on strike demanding sweeping reforms. The Baker's Union, however, wanted more dough. When the first calendar was produced in 1640, everyone knew its days were numbered. (Shared by Kitty's Daily Mews http://www.katscratch.com) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?" The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?" And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it." (Shared by the Russell Family) TRIVIA: People from all walks of life are stopping for prayer at portable booths in New York City. The booths are staffed by local Christian volunteers who ask passers by if they have any concerns for which they would like prayer. Prayer station originator Nick Savoca said, "I have been involved in many different kinds of open-air evangelism in New York City, but I have never seen anything so effective as this at establishing a connection with people. We don't try to witness to them first; we pray for whatever is their felt need. Often that creates a bond that leads to telling them about Christ." DECISION, February 1998 http://www.graham-assn.org/decision/ |