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WITandWISDOM(tm) - May 1, 1998 THOUGHTS: We don't stop playing when we grow old, we grow old when we stop playing. - Anonymous (Shared by Nancy Belle via DailyQuote c1977 SPECIAL THOUGHTS: There are many reasons why God would not want you. But don't worry. You're in good company. - Moses stuttered. -- David's armor didn't fit. --- John Mark was rejected by Paul. ---- Hosea's wife was a prostitute. ----- Amos' only training was in the school of fig-tree pruning. ------ Jacob was a liar. ------- David had an affair. -------- Solomon was too rich. --------- Abraham was too old. ---------- David was too young. ----------- Timothy had ulcers. ------------ Peter was afraid of death. ------------- Lazarus was dead. -------------- John was self-righteous. --------------- Jesus was too poor. -------------- Naomi was a widow. ------------- Paul was a murderer. So was Moses. ------------ Jonah ran from God. ----------- Miriam was a gossip. ---------- Gideon and Thomas both doubted. --------- Jeremiah was depressed and suicidal. -------- Elijah was burned out. ------- John the Baptist was a loudmouth. ------ Martha was a worry-wart. ----- Mary was lazy. ---- Samson had long hair. --- Noah got drunk. -- Did I mention that Moses had a short fuse? - So did Peter, Paul - well, lots of folks did. But God doesn't require a job interview. He doesn't hire and fire like most bosses, because He's more our Dad than our Boss. He doesn't look at financial gain or loss. He's not prejudiced or partial, not judging, grudging, sassy, or brassy, not deaf to our cry, not blind to our need. As much as we try, God's gifts are free. We could do wonderful things for wonderful people and still not be . . . Wonderful. Satan says, "You're not worthy." Jesus says, "So what? I AM." Satan looks back and sees our mistakes. God looks back and sees the cross. He doesn't calculate what you did in '78. It's not even on the record. Sure. There are lots of reasons why God shouldn't want us. But if we are magically in love with Him, if we hunger for Him more than our next breath, He'll use us in spite of who we are, where we've been, or what we look like. Step out of your limitations into the illimitable nature of who God is. - Author Unknown, Edited by Asa Sparks (Shared by Carol) THIS & THAT: TIPS FOR MOMS & DADS Part 13 of 18 HINT #241: When daughter's in labor don't say "Now you know.". HINT #242: Teenage daughters are hazardous to your health. HINT #243: Teenage sons are hazardous to their own health. HINT #244: How long CAN you put off the birds & bees lecture? HINT #245: How many times can you rewrite your will? HINT #246: Never buy retail. HINT #247: Cheer when they get their driver's licenses. HINT #248: Smile when they squash your Chevy. HINT #249: Send a care package to college. HINT #250: Resist the impulse to clean their dorm rooms. HINT #251: If they become Ivy Leaguers it's because of YOUR genes. HINT #252: If they're going to State, it's because of Dad's genes. HINT #253: Teach them to swim early. HINT #254: Insist on bike helmets. HINT #255: Learn CPR. HINT #256: Take them to the circus. HINT #257: Send an apple for the teacher. HINT #258: No blue hair. HINT #259: Remind them when it's your silver anniversary. HINT #260: Forbid them to put you in a nursing home. [The eighteen parts of "Tips for Moms & Dads" can be found in the following issues of WITandWISDOM(tm): 2001 - #1 Mar 1, #2 Apr 2, #3 May 1, #4 Jun 1, #5 Jul 2, #6 Aug 1, #7 Sep 3, #8 Oct 1, 1998 - #9 Jan 1, #10 Feb 2, #11 Mar 2, #12 Apr 1, #13 May 1, #14 Jun 1, #15 Jul 1, #16 Aug 3, #17 Sep 1, #18 Oct 1] Source: Dean's Humor List ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CAMPING ALERT In case anyone is considering doing some camping this summer, please note the following public service announcement: In Alaska, tourists are warned to wear tiny bells on their clothing when hiking in bear country. The bells warn away MOST bears. Tourists are also cautioned to watch the ground on the trail, paying particular attention to bear droppings to be alert for the presence of Grizzly Bears. One can tell a Grizzly dropping because it has tiny bells in it. (Shared by Sharon Unger) TRIVIA: Research by Tor Dahl, Chairman of the World Confederation of Productivity Science, indicates that the average American business wastes or misdirects work time as follows: 23 percent waiting for approvals, materials or support; 20 percent doing things that shouldn't even be done; 15 percent doing things that should be handled by someone else; 18 percent by doing things wrong; and 16 percent for failure to do the right things. - Price Pritchett, "MindShift" (Shared by Elisa Wimer) |