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WITandWISDOM(tm) - May 5, 1998 THOUGHTS: Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back into the same box. - Italian Proverb (Shared by Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird List KSullivan@worldnet.att.net) SPECIAL THOUGHTS: In the early 60s, Brother Andrew, a man from Holland, smuggled a load of Bibles in his VW across the Romanian border and past communist guards. He checked into a hotel and began praying that God would lead him to the right Christian groups - the ones who could best use his copies of the Scriptures. That weekend Andrew walked up to the hotel clerk and asked where he might find a church. The clerk looked at him a little strangely and answered, "We don't have many of those you know. Besides you couldn't understand the language." "Didn't you know?" Andrew replied, "Christians speak a kind of universal language." "OH, what‘s that?" "It's called Agape." The clerk had never heard of it, but Andrew assured him. "It's the most beautiful language in the world." Andrew was able to locate several church groups in the area and managed to arrange a meeting with the president and secretary of a certain denomination. Unfortunately, although both Andrew and these men knew several European languages, they found they had none in common. So there they sat staring at each other across the room. Andrew had traveled thousands of dangerous miles with his precious cargo but there seemed no way of telling whether these men were genuine Christian brothers or government informants. Finally he spotted a Romanian Bible on a desk in the office. Andrew reached into his pocket and pulled out a Dutch Bible. He turned to 1 Corinthians 16:20 and held the Bible out, pointing to the name of the book, which they could recognize. Instantly their faces lit up. They quickly found the same chapter and verse in their Romanian Bibles and read: "All the brothers here send you greetings. Greet on another with a holy kiss." The men beamed back at Andrew. Then one of them looked throughout his Bible and found Proverbs 25:25. Andrew found the verse and read: "Like cold water to a weary soul is good news from a distant land." These men spent half an hour conversing and sharing - just through the words of Scripture. They were so happy in this fellowship that crossed all cultural boundaries that they laughed until tears came to their eyes. Andrew knew he had found his brothers. When he showed them his load of Bibles, the Romanians were overwhelmed and embraced him again and again. That evening at the hotel, the clerk approached Andrew and remarked, "Say, I looked up ‘agape' in the dictionary. There's no language by that name. That's just a Greek word for love." Andrew replied, "That's it. I was speaking in it all afternoon." - DISCOVER THIS & THAT: ENTERING HEAVEN This guy dies and goes to heaven where he meets Peter at the Pearly Gates. Before he can enter Peter gives him a few questions to answer. He has to accumulate 100 points before he can go in. "So, how often did you go to church?" Peter asks. "I went every Sunday and Wednesday," replied the man. "That's one point," answers Peter. "One point? wow! I figured it would be worth more than that." "And did you give in the offerings?" asked Peter. "Yes, I gave 10% of all my income every week," answered the man. "Well, let's see," answers Peter, "that's worth 3 points. Did you do anything else?" "Well, right off hand, I can't think of a whole lot. I did mostly what I thought I was supposed to do." "Well, we'll give you 5 points for good behavior, can't you come up with something else?" By this time, the man is completely flustered. He finally cries, "Well, I can't come up with anything else. It looks like that no one can enter heaven except by the Grace of God!" "100 points! Come on in!" (Shared by Funny Pages Mailing List via Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird List Ksullivan@worldnet.att.net) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ A local community club was organizing a baseball team. They could only muster eight players, and were hard put to find a ninth. In desperation, they called on a new member, a very reserved Englishman who had just moved into the neighborhood from London, to join their team. During their first game, the Englishman came to bat. On the very first pitch, he knocked the ball out of the park. The team members stood there, dumfounded! Unfortunately, so did the Englishman. "Run!" his teammates cried. "For Pete's sake, run!" The Brit turned and stared at them icily. "I jolly well shan't run," he replied. "I'm perfectly willing to buy you chaps another ball." (Shared by Laugh-A-Lot! laughalot-owner@graceweb.org) TRIVIA: A friend in Texas told me of an interesting plan in their church to follow up on absent members. A card rack was placed on each side of the foyer. All members' name cards were placed on the right side. On arriving for services, each member transfers his or her card to the left side. Any whose cards remain on the right are immediately contacted and told they were missed at services. - Jean Hastings |