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WITandWISDOM(tm) - May 13, 1998 THOUGHTS: Live so that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers (Shared by Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird List KSullivan@worldnet.att.net) SPECIAL THOUGHTS: A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home after having fought in Vietnam. He called his parents from San Francisco. "Mom and Dad, I'm coming home, but I've a favor to ask. I have a friend I'd like to bring home with me." "Sure," they replied, "we'd love to meet him." "There's something you should know," the son continued, "he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mine and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us." "I'm sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live." "No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us." "Son," said the father, "you don't know what you're asking. Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden to us. We have our own lives to live, and we can't let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should just come on home and forget about this guy. He'll find a way to live on his own." At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, however, they received a call from the San Francisco police. Their son died after falling from a building, they were told. The police believed it was suicide. The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn't know, their son had only one arm and one leg. The parents in this story are not unlike many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good-looking or fun to have around, but we don't like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay away from people who aren't as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are. (See Luke 15:11-32) Thankfully, there's One who won't treat us that way. He loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us into His forever family, regardless of how messed up we are. Edited from Hot Illustrations for Youth Talks by Wayne Rice. Copyright 1994 by Youth Specialties, Inc. (Shared by Sharon Unger) THIS & THAT: The copier at Front Range Community College in Westminster, Colo., where I teach, is known for its inefficiency. Tired of taking flak for its poor performance, the department secretaries posted the following note: THE COPIER IS DOWN. YES - We have called for the service technician. NO - They will not get here today. NO - We can not fix it ourselves. NO - We don't know how long it will take. NO - We don't know what caused it. NO - We don't know who caused it. YES - We are keeping it. No - We do not know what you are going to do. Vi Probert, Reader's Digest, August 1993 ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Several years ago my daughter was scheduled for a stay in the hospital, so her husband brought their 5-year-old, Greg, to me to keep. One day Greg wanted to go to the nearby park and ride the sky lift. The cable car was crowded that day, and Greg could not see out. About halfway up he pulled hard on my hand and said in a loud voice, "Grandma, is this what we'll ride in to go up to heaven?" The whole car resounded with laughter, and when we reached the top and got off, everybody wanted to meet "this little man who's going to heaven." - Olna Black TRIVIA: Spring Cleaning . . . In Elyria, Ohio, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out cobwebs in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of a propane torch and caused a fire that burned the first and second floors of his house. . . He got rid of those cobwebs! (Shared by Humor Break http://www.dreamhaven.org/~morph/jokes/) |