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WITandWISDOM(tm) - July 15, 1998 THOUGHTS: Never let the odds keep you from pursuing what in your heart you were meant to do. - Art Hansen Shared by Daily Humor http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Acres/1029/Jokes.htm SPECIAL THOUGHTS: THE LORD'S BASEBALL GAME Bob was caught up in the spirit where he and the Lord stood by to observe a baseball game. The Lord's team was playing Satan's team. The Lord's team was at bat, the score was tied zero to zero, and it was the bottom of the 9th inning with two outs. They continued to watch as a batter stepped up to the plate whose name was Love. Love swung at the first pitch and hit a single, because Love never fails. The next batter was named Faith, who also got a single because Faith works with Love. The next batter up was named Godly wisdom. Satan wound up and threw the first pitch; Godly Wisdom looked it over and let it pass, because Godly Wisdom does not swing at Satan's pitches. Ball one. Three more pitches and Godly Wisdom walked, because Godly wisdom never swings at Satan's throws. The bases were loaded. The Lord then turned to Bob and told him He was now going to bring in His star player. Up to the plate stepped Grace. Bob said he sure did not look like much! Satan's whole team relaxed when they saw Grace. Thinking he had won the game, Satan wound up and fired his first pitch. To the shock of everyone, Grace hit the ball harder than anyone had ever seen. But Satan was not worried; his center fielder, the Prince of the air, let very few get by. He went up for the ball, but it went right through his glove, hit him on the head and sent him crashing on the ground; then it continued over the fence for a home run! The Lord's team won. The Lord then asked Bob if he knew why Love, Faith, and Godly Wisdom could get on base but could not win the game. Bob answered that he did not know why. The Lord explained, "If your love, faith and wisdom had won the game you would think you had done it by yourself. Love, faith and wisdom will get you on base, but only My grace can get you home. My grace is the one thing Satan cannot stop. Shared by John L. Bechtel and Sharon Unger THIS & THAT: THE LIVING WILL FORM I _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ , being of sound mind, do hereby inform those responsible for my care in a future medical crisis of these, my deeply felt personal wishes: In each and every instance, no matter how momentous or routine the decision, please keep my essential objective in mind: I don't want to go. Therefore, whatever you do, no matter how difficult it might be, no matter what state of being it might require of me and no matter how much it costs, keep me alive. Please disregard my limited financial resources or the strain this may place on my family. They're not in this pickle, I am. Spend what you have to and bill the wife, bill the kids, bill the damned dog - but don't let me die. Similarly pay no mind to the needs of other patients in the institution responsible for my care. I was here first and that's all that matters. You are responsible for carrying out my wishes as expressed in this document and let's get it straight, pal - my wish is to live. And when you finally do send me home, make sure I have all the care I'll need to keep the old ticker going. I don't care if I can't play ski-ball, watch the Jets lose or see the sun set over the Vince Lombardi Service Area. I don't care if I can't do anything but lay on the living room sofa stuck with tubes that run directly to a tanker truck parked behind the Rite Aid. I don't care if you have to park one of those mobile hospital trailers in the driveway, install a MRI in the garage and build a hotel for visiting medical experts next door. Just do it. And if after all that I do pass on, then wipe your tears, gather yourself and get me to a cryogenic laboratory pronto. Freeze my body quick and keep me frozen until they come up with a cure for whatever got me, then bring me back. If I've outlasted the missus, the kids and the dog and run up some bills, we can settle up then. Shared by David Crippen via Kitty's Daily Mews ~~~~~~~~~~~~ A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. While doing this the clerk spots two penguins sitting on the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?" The man in the car says, "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them but, I haven't a clue." The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo." "Yeah, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away. The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car. "Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo!" "Oh, I did," says the driver, "and we had a swell time. Today I'm taking them to the beach." Shared by Just 4 Laughs! Http://www.GeoCities.com/Hollywood/Set/6993 TRIVIA: Hawaii's official state fish is called the Humuhumunukunukuapua'a. - With an average rainfall of over 500 inches per year, Kauai's Mt. Waialeale is the heaviest rain spot on earth. - VIA, published by the California State Automobile Association. |