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WITandWISDOM(tm) - July 28, 1998 THOUGHTS: Heaven goes by favor, if it went by merit, you would stay out, and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain (Shared by Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird List KSullivan@worldnet.att.net) SPECIAL THOUGHTS: I had just completed six hours of back-to-back counseling sessions following an early morning meeting, and was squeezing in return phone calls along the way. An afternoon of three more sessions stretched before me, with nothing to look forward to but a long drive home after dark. Paul warned the Galatians, "Let us not grow weary while doing good," but weariness had set in. As I rushed past my message box - checking for more phone calls - I was greeted instead by manna from heaven, in the form of a soft drink, my favorite crackers, and a short love note! Teressa had passed through the office and thought of me. My whole perspective changed: "I've been thought of! I'm important! I'm loved!" Her initiative and sensitivity spoke volumes. As I walked back toward my office, I told everyone who would listen just how I had been cared for by someone who loved me! - David Ferguson, INTIMATE MOMENTS, Daily Devotions for Couples THIS & THAT: ACCOUNTANT HUMOR (My apologies to you good people who keep our world running. - Richard What's the definition of an accountant? - Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand. What's the definition of a good tax accountant? - Someone who has a loophole named after him. What's an extroverted accountant? - One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own. There are three kinds of accountants in the world: those who can count and those who can't. How do you drive an accountant completely insane? - Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way. What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? - Depreciation. An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night." "Have you tried counting sheep?" "That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it." (Shared by Humor Break http://www.dreamhaven.org/~morph/jokes/) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ For centuries, the English have had a love affair with all types of hunting. Early one morning, a fellow was blasting away at a clump of brush on a grouse hunt. Suddenly an outraged gentleman appeared and said "See here old man, you almost shot my wife with that volley." The hunter, properly shamed replied, "So sorry old chap. Here, have a go at mine, over there." (Shared by Daily Chuckle http://members.aol.com/jperkel/daily_chuckle.html) TRIVIA: An armed robber, jailed for eight years in Argentina, decided to hire a private detective to trace his father whom he had never met. The detective discovered the man's father was the warden of the prison in which he was incarcerated. DAILY MIRROR, Sept. 28, 1995 (Shared by The Funny! List owner-funny@peak.org) |