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WITandWISDOM(tm) - July 30, 1998 THOUGHTS: Don't ever cry over things that can't cry over you. - Native American Woman (Chicken Soup for the Soul: Free Home Delivery http://www.soupserver.com/) SPECIAL THOUGHTS: THE MEANEST MOTHER IN THE WORLD By Larry Christenson in his book "The Christian Family" We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different than other kids had too. Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You would think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less. We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the child Labor Laws but making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lay awake at night thinking of more things for us to do. She always insisted on us telling the truth the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds, and life was really tough. She wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16. Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing others property, or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault. We never got drunk, took up smoking, stayed out all night, or a million other things other kids did. Sundays were reserved for church, and we never missed once. We knew better than to ask to spend the night with a friend on Saturdays. Now that we have left home, we are all God-fearing, educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like our mom was. The world just doesn't have enough mean moms anymore. (Shared by Steve Heese via Mikey's Funnies THIS & THAT: THOUGHTS ON MEN, WOMEN AND MARRIAGE: When I was young, I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal woman. Well, I found her-but, alas, she was waiting for the ideal man. I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell my children that, they just about throw up. - Barbara Bush Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. - Benjamin Franklin A wife is a person who can look in the top drawer of a dresser and find a man's handkerchief that isn't there. The male is a domestic animal who, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things. A smart husband buys his wife very fine china so she won't trust him to wash it. In August, my husband and I celebrated our 38th wedding anniversary. You know what I finally realized? If I had killed the man the first time I thought about it, I'd have been out of jail now. Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert H. Humphrey. When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking. - Elaine Boosler Who wears the pants in this house? I do, and I also wash and iron them. - Dennis Thatcher, Margaret's husband. The spouse who snores loudest always falls asleep first. Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis Diller Marriage is a lot like the army: everyone complains, but you'd be surprised at the large number that re-enlist. - James Garner People are always asking couples whose marriages have endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman. - Erma Bombeck (Shared by Linda via The Funnies Andychap@aol.com) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ My grandson was telling me that he and his three playmates attended different churches. Then he added, "It really doesn't matter if we go to different churches, does it, Grandma, as long as we're all Republicans?" (Shared by The Funnies Andychap@aol.com) TRIVIA: Take a paper egg carton and fill it with lint from the dryer. Then pour candle wax over everything. Next time you go to start a fire, just tear of a paper cup, light it and away you go! Excellent for camping and hiking, very resistant to wind (from the wax). The Learn Letter, Copyright 1998, Panmedia Corporation. All rights reserved. http://www.Learn2.com/talk/join.html |