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WIT & WISDOM - August 4, 1998 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and sings it back to you when you have forgotten how it goes. - Unknown [1] ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: "Do not pray for easy lives! Pray to be stronger men! Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers! Pray for powers equal to your tasks!" - Phillips Brooks, Signs of the Times, October 14, 1924 [2] ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: CATS "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." - Unknown "In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." - English proverb "As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." - Ellen Perry Berkeley "Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia." - Joseph Wood Krutch "People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life." - Faith Resnick "No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me." - Unknown "Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God." "Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." - Missy Dizick "Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want." - Joseph Wood Krutch [3] ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: I still have something on the ball but am less interested in bouncing it. You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for company." I jogged backward . . . and gained weight. [4] ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Mon Nga, Thailand - An 85-year-old Hmong tribesman in northern Thailand claims to having the longest hair in the world, with his closest rival being his 87-year-old brother. Hoo Sateow, officially measured Friday by a judge from the Guinness Book of Records, hasn't shorn a lock on top for almost seventy years. It's now 17 feet 2 inches long. "I cut it when I was 18 and I got really ill. So I decided I'd never do it again," he said. He said he washes his hair just once a year, using fabric cleaner, and dangles it on trellis work to dry it. His older brother Yi, whose last haircut was in 1957, also bests the current record-holder, an Indian woman whose hair is about 13 feet 8 inches long. WhiteBoard News for Friday, November 21, 1997 [5] ~~~~~~~ CONTRIBUTORS: [1] (Daily Humor (http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Acres/1029/Jokes.htm) [2] (Dale Galusha http://www.pacificpress.com/signs) [3] (Jim Miller via Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird List KSullivan@worldnet.att.net) [4] (Asa Sparks) [5] (Joseph Harper via Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird List KSullivan@worldnet.att.net) |