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WIT & WISDOM - November 3, 1998 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: If you your lips would keep from slips, Five things observe with care: Of whom you speak, to whom you speak, And how and when and where. - Author Unknown [1] ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: ONE LINERS BY DICK INNES: "It is so easy to find the wrong kind of love. . .so challenging to find the right kind of love. To find healthy love, I need to be healthy." - Dick Innes "Only to the degree that I am made whole will my lifestyle, my attitudes, my actions, my behaviors, and my relationships be whole-some." - Dick Innes "We are as sick or as healthy as the people we are attracted to - especially so in romantic relationships." "The healthiest among us may be those of us who know how sick we are. This way we can be healed and made whole." "Denial is a deadly sin. It is a cancer of the soul." "If we don't get the ‘cancers' in our lives, the cancers get us." "Your voice is the ‘finger print' of your soul." [2] ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: THE TATES IN YOUR CHURCH Do you know how many members of the Tate family who belong to your church? There is old man DicTate, who wants to run everything, while Uncle RoTate tries to change everything. Their sister AgiTate stirs up plenty of trouble, with help from her husband, IrriTate. Their son DebiliTate is often a bad influence on other children. Whenever new projects are suggested, HesiTate, and his wife, VegeTate, want to wait until next year. DisorienTate has never quite figured out what is going on. Grandpa DisserTate will talk on and on about most any subject when given a chance. GesTate takes a long time to come to conclusions on new ideas. Then there is Aunt ImiTate, who wants our church to be like all the others. DevasTate provides the voice of doom. And of course, there are the black sheep of the family, FragmenTate seems to always be stirring up division, AposTate has formed his own following and AmpuTate has cut himself off from the Church! But not all the members of the Tate family are bad. Brother FaciliTate is quite helpful in church matters. Uncle CapaciTate is always helping others. Cousins CogiTate and MediTate are always thinking things over and lend helpful, steady hands. AnnoTate helps keep the records for the church. The twins OrienTate and RehabiliTate are very good at ministering to new and struggling members. Cousin TempTate doesn't stay long in the church, just long enough to start trouble. Uncle PotenTate feels he has to run the congregation, single-handedly, his way but complains that no one gets involved. Need we neglect Uncle LamenTate, who complains incessantly about the sorry state of society and how things were better when "he" was a kid! Original author unknown, edited and expanded by John L. Hoh, Jr. and Richard Wimer [3] ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A GOLFING PARODY - Author Unknown I think that I shall never see a hazard rougher than an tree; A tree o'er which my ball must fly if on the green it is to lie; A tree which stands that green to guard, and makes the shot extremely hard; A tree whose leafy arms extend to kill the six iron shot I send; Irons were made for fools like me who cannot ever miss a tree. [4] ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: In 1997, every American taxpayer worked until July 3rd - more than half the year - to pay off his or her share of government-imposed financial costs. - Thomas Oller ~~~~~~~ CONTRIBUTORS: [1] (Bill Edwards via Keith's Mostly Clean Humor [2] (Dick Innes in his Encounter Weekly [3] (Phua Seng Tiong) [4] (Larry Reed) |