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WIT & WISDOM - December 1, 1998 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "Whoever I am and whatever I am doing, some kind of excellence is within my reach" - John W. Gardener [1] ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: On leaving the home of a new friend, I noticed a stately evergreen in her yard. I told her it was one of the most beautiful trees I had ever seen. Some year ago, she confided, her marriage had been threatened by boredom and neglect. It was then that her husband had planted a young spruce. If the tree died, they decided, they would get a divorce, but if it grew, they would stay together. "You know," she said, "we caught each other carrying water to that tree!" [2] ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: The Latin term, "Carpe Diem" means "Seize the day"... Here are some up-to-date variations on the theme: + Carper diem - When Avis or Hertz rent by the day + Carpe Stem - Picking a flower. + Carpe Dim - Seizing the night. + Carp Diem - Seizing Chinese goldfish. + Carpe Hem - Seizing a skirt. + Cop "Eh?" Diem - Conversing with a Canadian policeman. + Sharpei Diem - Seize the wrinkled dog. + Carpool Diem - Riding to work together today. + Carpe Chem - Seizing a drug shipment. + Carpe Fem - "Grab yer girl, fellas!" + Carpe Per Diem - Seize The Check [3] ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: Some thoughts from Asa Nelson: Asa's Law for the American Jungle: "Remain calm, and share your bananas." If you are going to be blue, be bright blue! Some of us are as welcome as Yesterday's Chili Festival. [4] ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Raglan sleeves and Cardigan sweaters both bear the names of British generals of the Crimean War. The styles were originally used in uniforms of regiments commanded by those men. At about this time, synthetic dyes were first produced. The newer, brighter colors they produced quickly became fashionable. Two of the first of these new colors: crimson and vermillion, bear names derived from that war. [5] ~~~~~~~ CONTRIBUTORS: [1] (Monday Motivation [2] (John Willems) [3] (Paul and David via Fast Eddie's Funnies [4] (Asa Nelson) [5] (Patricia K. Abbott via Fast Eddie's Funnies |