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WIT & WISDOM - December 24, 1998 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Sometimes it's more important to be peaceful than to be right. - Dr. Charles Stanley [1] ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: THE PERFECT GIFT IDEA Just this week someone said to me, "Sure wish I knew what go get Dad for Christmas. . . . I've wracked my brain and wandered down a hundred overstocked store isles already. I can't think of a thing. Christmas is so frustratingly complicated." Well I have an idea. Just relax and make it easy. At the same time give the perfect gift . In reality Christmas is very simple, It is a celebration of generous unconditional love. So why not give it. I once read about a young teenager who had to get up at four every morning to help his father milk and do chores. Life was hard for his family. They struggled to meet the challenges of a farm that demanded great toil, sweat to eak out a living with a mule and a single bottom plow. On one occasion the boy over heard his parents talking. They were trying to figure a way to allow him to sleep longer but because of the demands of the farm there were no options. From the conversation and the tone of their voices it occurred to him how special he was to his parents and how much his father loved him. This inspired him to spring out of bed at his fathers first call every day at that ungodly hour. One Christmas eve he turned in with a heavy heart. He had been unable to afford some wonderful gift for his Dad. Suddenly he had an idea. He would get up extra early and do the milking and feeding as a grand gift. A gesture of the love he felt for his father. At four on that Christmas morning his father called him then headed out to the barn. The boy lay under the covers, his heart beating joyfully at what his father would find when he reached in to get the milk can. His father would know who was responsible. In a few minutes he heard his dad come back into the house and into his room. The man was so overcome with emotion he could scarcely speak. He just took his son in his arms and said over and over "This is the finest Christmas I ever had, the very finest." [2] ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS (Internet Style) A festive holiday poem Hugh Drumm & Vincent Ambrose 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net, There were hacker's a surfing. Geeks? Yeah, you bet. The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens, While visions of Java danced in their dreams. My wife on the sofa and me with a snack, We just settled down at my rig (it's a Mac). When out in the Web there arose such a clatter, I jumped to the site to see what was the matter. To a new page my Mac flew like a flash, Then made a slight gurgle. It started to crash!! I gasped at the thought and started to grouse, Then turned my head sideways and clicked on my mouse. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, My Mac jumped to a page that wasn't quite clear. When the image resolved, so bright and so quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick! More rapid than mainframes, more graphics they came, Then Nick glanced toward my screen, my Mac called them by name; "Now Compaq! Now Acer!", my speaker did reel; "On Apple! On Gateway!" Santa started to squeal! "Jump onto the circuits! And into the chip! Now speed it up! Speed it up! Make this thing hip!" The screen gave a flicker, he was into my RAM, Then into my room rose a full hologram! He was dressed in all red, from his head to his shoes, Which were black (the white socks he really should lose). He pulled out some discs he had stored in his backpack. Santa looked like a dude who was rarin' to hack! His eyes, how they twinkled! His glasses, how techno! This ain't the same Santa that I used to know! With a wink of his eye and a nod of his head, Santa soon let me know I had nothing to dread. He spoke not a word, gave my Mac a quick poke, And accessed my C drive with only a stroke. He defragged my hard drive, and added a SIMM, Then threw in some cool games, just on a whim! He worked without noise, his fingers they flew! He distorted some pictures with Kai's Power Goo! He updated Office, Excel and Quicken, Then added a screensaver with a red clucking chicken! My eyes widened a bit, my mouth stood agape, As he added the latest version of Netscape. The drive gave a whirl, as if it were pleased, St. Nick coyly smiled, the computer appeased. Then placing his finger on the bridge of his nose, Santa turned into nothing but ones and zeros! He flew back into my screen and through my uplink, Back into the net with barely a blink. But I heard his sweet voice as he flew from my sight, "Happy surfing to all, and to all a good byte!" [3] ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: SIGNS: Spotted on a sanitation truck in Lexington, Ky.: "Happy Hauladays." -Loren C. Gruber Posted on the door of a festively decorated shop in a Chicago suburb: "Please Open Before Christmas!" Sign advertising a health club: "Merry Fitness and Happy New Rear!" -Marcia Wolf Reader's Digest, December 1997 [4] ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: This is a very nice Christmas Website: http://www.gospelcom.net/peggiesplace/Christmas.htm [5] ~~~~~~~ CONTRIBUTORS: [1] (Wayne Barber) [2] (MONDAY FODDER [3] (Have A Nice Day [4] (Keith's Mostly Clean Humor [5] (Peggie C. Bohanon) |