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WIT & WISDOM - January 5, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: You make more friends by becoming interested in other people than by trying to interest other people in yourself. - Dale Carnegie, Bits & Pieces [1] ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: So often when we pray, we find ourselves trapped in a vicious circle. Because we ask for nothing in particular, our prayers bring no results. Because we don't believe that anything will come from our praying anyway, we ask for nothing in particular. Hence, we live our lives saying only superficial prayer. The time has come for us to stop playing at prayer. Let's pray meaningfully, specifically, sincerely and faithfully (that is, in a faith-filled manner). Sincere, fervent, heartfelt prayer that gets to the heart of a situation is powerful. Prayer can be a vehicle through which we ourselves are transformed, others are changed, demonic hosts are routed. But, above all, through prayer God comes near to us. - Stanley J. Grenz, DECISION, September 1997 ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: FAMOUS LASTS. . . Ha! They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist. . . Don't unplug it, it will just take a moment to fix. Gimmee a match. I think my gas tank is empty. Wife, these biscuits are tough. What? Your mother is going to stay another month? "A-four and a-three and a-two and a-one. . ." - Lawrence Welk "Don't worry about the Rover. That's no cliff." - NASA techie "And now that I'm running my life support equipment through Windows 95, I'll never have to worry about - beeeeeeeep. . ." "How's he gonna read that magazine rolled up like that?" - Insect "No, dude, this stuff is completely natural and safe, man. That's why it's called 'herbal.'" [2] ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: There was a little boy named Johnny who used to hang out at the local corner market. The owner didn't know what Johnny's problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him. They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a barrel. To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and John would always take the nickel - they said, because it was bigger. One day after John grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?" Slowly, Johny turned toward the store owner and a big grin appeared on his face and Johnny said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I have saved $20!" [3] ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: To clean accumulated grease on pans or cookie sheets, take a paper towel, wet it with ammonia, then cover the soiled area with it. Pat it in place. Put the item in a plastic bag, seal it shut with a twist tie, and forget about it for a few days. When you unseal it to wash, the grease just lifts off with a gentle scrubbing. -The Learn Letter, Copyright 1998, Panmedia Corporation. All rights reserved. [4] ~~~~~~~ CONTRIBUTORS: [1] ( [2] (Good, Clean Funnies List [3] (Joke of the Day [4] ( |