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WIT & WISDOM - January 22, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. - Abigail Van Buren, Bits & Pieces [1] ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Teacher Debbie Moon's first graders were discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had different color hair than the other family members. One child suggested that he was adopted and a little girl named Jocelynn Jay said, "I know all about adoptions because I'm adopted." "What does it mean to be adopted?" asked another child. "It means," said Jocelynn, "that you grew in your mother's heart instead of her tummy." By George Dolan from Condensed Chicken Soup for the Soul, Copyright 1996 by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen & Patty Hansen [2] ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF CHILDREN: Part 1 of 2 Recently our family moved to a new church, and many people befriended us. The head elder of this church was trying to befriend our 4- year-old daughter without success. One time at church I mentioned to Emily, "Why don't your just go hug his leg? He'd like that." She looked at me and emphatically responded, "You go hug his leg!" - Becky Anderson ~~~~~ As I was tucking my 11-year-old, Robert, into bed, we were discussing how Jesus talks to us in a still, quiet voice. He told me he couldn't hear Jesus talk to him. I assured him that if he took the time to spend with Jesus, he would speak to his heart. The next morning Robert woke up with excitement in his eyes and said, "Mom, I heard Jesus talk to me! He said, ‘How are you, Robert?'" Then Robert told me about his dream of being in heaven. Jesus was showing him the mansion that was waiting for him. "And every time you sin," said Robert, "Jesus takes a room off." - Denise Aranda ~~~~~ Our daughter and her husband were attending church with their 3-year-old son. The preacher asked, "What preparation do we need for the final crisis?" In a loud whisper Christopher responded, "Preparation H." - Leta Davis (Part 2 will be in the Jan. 28 W&W) ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: The Difference Between Hymns and Praise Choruses! An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was. "Well," said the farmer, "It was good. They did something different, however. They sang praise choruses instead of hymns." "Praise choruses," said his wife, "What are those?" "Oh, they're okay. They're sort of like hymns, only different," said the farmer. "Well, what's the difference?" asked the wife. The farmer said, "Well, it's like this. If I were to say to you, 'Martha, the cows are in the corn,' well that would be a hymn. If on the other hand I was to say to you, 'Martha, Martha, Martha, Oh Martha, MARTHA, MARTHA, the cows, the big cows, the brown cows, the black cows, the white cows, the black and white cows, the COWS, COWS, COWS, are in the corn, are in the corn, are in the corn, are in the corn,' well, that would be a praise chorus." - From The Pastor's Helper Mail List http://www.pastorshelper.com (E-zine: WEEKEND ENCOUNTER http://www.gospelcom.net/actsi/weekend/ ) ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Jerusalem, Israel - Mobile phones in Israel may be as plentiful as seeds in a biblical pomegranate, but holding the phone while driving is against the law - even for the police commissioner. Citizens spotted the top cop, Assaf Hefetz, talking on the phone while driving. One of the motorists who saw Hefetz said she was shocked to see the police commissioner so brazenly break the law. "We honked at him . . . but he did not respond," one driver told the radio. After the radio station reported Hefetz's slip, he acknowledged on the air that he made a mistake and told listeners he wrote himself a ticket for the misdemeanor which carries a $230 fine. - WhiteBoard News for Saturday, April 05, 1997 [4] ~~~~~~~ CONTRIBUTORS: [1] (Magazine: BITS & PIECES http://www.epinc.com/) [2] (E-zine: CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL http://www.soupserver.com/) [3] (Paul Blom E-zine: TERESA'S JOKERS http://www.eGroups.com/list/jo-jokers/) [4] (E-zine: KEITH'S MOSTLY CLEAN HUMOR Mailto:KSullivan@worldnet.att.net) |