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~~~~~~~ WIT and WISDOM - March 9, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "I resolved that I would permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him." By Booker T. Washington, Signs of the Times, August 16, 1938 (Dale Galusha ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: To laugh is to risk appearing the fool; To weep is to risk appearing sentimental; To reach out for another is to risk involvement; To expose feelings is to risk exposing our true self; To place your ideas, your dreams, before the crowd is to risk loss; To love is to risk not being loved in return; To live is to risk dying; To hope is to risk despair; To try at all is to risk failure; But to risk we must, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The man, the woman, who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. (Fast Eddie's Funnies ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: YOU KNOW YOU'RE TAKING GENEALOGY TOO SERIOUSLY IF. . . You are the only person to show up at the cemetery research party with a shovel. To put the "final touches" on your genealogical research, you've asked all of your closest relatives to provide DNA samples. Your house leans slightly toward the side where your genealogical records are stored. You decided to take a two-week break from genealogy, and the U.S. Postal Office immediately laid off 1,500 employees. You plod merrily along "refining" your recently published family history, blissfully unaware that the number of errata pages now far exceeds the number of pages in your original publication. The most recent document in your "Missing Ancestors" file is a 36- page contract between you and Johnson Billboard Advertising Company. Ed McMahon, several t.v. cameras and an envelope from Publishers Clearing House arrive at your front door on Super Bowl Sunday, and the first thing you say is, "Are you related to the McMahons of Ohio?" "A Loving Family" and "Financial Security" have moved up to second and third, respectively, on your list of life's goals, but still lag far behind "Owning My Own Microfilm Reader." A magical genie appears and agrees to grant your any one wish, and you ask that the 1890 census be restored. (E-zine: POWERMOOSE HUMOR LIST http://b62968.cwru.edu/) ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class. "How did that happen?, " gasped her mother. "It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him." (Tina Gunther via E-zine: BILL'S PUNCH LINE http://www.tcmr.com/billspunchline.html) ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Scott and Peter had applied for jobs at a large company and had to take an intelligence test. Though both of them found the test a breeze, except that they admitted to being momentarily stumped by the final question: "Name a 14 letter word for someone in charge of a plant." (Can you the reader answer this one? . . .) (Now continue . . . ) "How did you answer that one?" asked Scott. "I thought it was tough at first . . . then I thought of Superintendent." "I think I got it right too," Pete said. "But I wrote down Horticulturist." (Sylvia via E-zine: GOBBLER GROUP http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/Gobbler_Group) |