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~~~~~~~ WITandWISDOM™ - April 28, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: There is no greater gift to yourself that saying "YES" to your life. Even when your life looks like you don't belong to it; It Is Still YOUR'S to Decorate in the ways you wish it to become. (E-zine: HUMORG Mailto:Judib@kktv.com) ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: "The mark of a saint is not perfection, but consecration. A saint is not a man without faults, but a man who has given himself without reserve to God." By W. T. Richardson, Signs of the Times, April 18, 1950 (Dale Galusha ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: If you are having a bad day maybe this answering machine announcement will cheer you up. Transcript of the new answering service recently installed at the Mental Health Institute. "Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - no one will answer. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line. If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name. If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000. If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you." (Cheri Thomas) ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: "Some men are afraid to lay up treasures in heaven for fear they will never see them again." By Charles G. Bellah, Signs of the Times, March 4, 1930 (Dale Galusha ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Why is something great referred to as "A-1"? . . . Both the phrase and the steak sauce date back to the 1820's in England. At that time, Lloyd's of London began classifying ships numerically for insurance purposes. "A Number 1" was the highest rating, and quickly caught on in English society as a way to signify any person, place or thing that was of superior quality. The phrase was sustained by its use as a brand name for steak sauce originally developed for Kind George the IV. The King's personal chef developed the condiment, and popular legend has the King exclaiming "This sauce is A-1!" after his first taste. The chef manufactured the sauce privately after the King's death, ultimately making a deal with a Connecticut based producer who ensured that A-1 became a staple of American language and barbecues for decades to come. Source: PANATI'S EXTRAORDINARY ORIGINS OF EVERYDAY THINGS (E-zine: MAILBITS.COM http://www.MailBits.com/Trivia) |