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WITandWISDOM(tm) - September 1, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today." - Unknown (E-zine: DAILY HUMOR Mailto:Daily-Humor-subscribe@onelist.com) ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: A little boy about 10 years old was standing before a shoe store on Broadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering with cold. A lady approached the boy and said, "My little fellow, why are you looking so earnestly in that window?" "I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes," was the boys reply. The lady took him by the hand and went into the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her. She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet and dried them with a towel. By this time the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair upon the boy's feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes, and tying up the remaining pairs of socks, gave them to him. She patted him on the head and said, "No doubt, my little fellow, you feel more comfortable now?" As she turned to go, the astonished lad caught her by the hand, and looking up in her face, with tears in his eyes, answered her question with these words: "Are you God's Wife?" (E-zine: FAST EDDIE'S FUNNIES http://recommend-it.com/l.z.e?s=154533) ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: SPORTS QUOTES FROM ENGLAND (Part 1 of 2) [Pt 2, 9- 13] "And here's Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago." (David Coleman) "Its a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs" (David Coleman) "We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite." (Murray Walker) After playing Cameroon in the 1990 world cup finals: "We didn't underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought." (Bobby Robson) "And with an alphabetical irony, Nigeria follows New Zealand." (David Coleman) On the difficulties of adjusting to playing football and living in Italy: "It was like being in a foreign country." (Ian Rush) Jimmy Hill: "Don't sit on the fence Terry. What chance do you think Germany has of getting through? Terry Venables: "I think it's 50-50." "We actually got the winner three minutes from the end, but then they equalised." (Ian McNail) "I never comment on referees, and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat." (Ron Atkinson) "I was in a no-win situation, so I'm glad that I won rather than lost." (Frank Bruno) "There's going to be a real ding-dong when the bell goes." (David Coleman) "The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical." (Murray Walker) (Janet Osborne via E-zine: HAVE A NICE DAY Mailto:smiles@bapp.com) ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A worker asked for a pay raise and got this note back from his supervisor: "Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's productive capacity as juxtaposed to standard norms, it would be momentarily injudicious to advocate your requested increment." The puzzled worker went to the supervisor and said, "If this is about my pay raise, I don't get it." "That's right," said the supervisor. Source: Bits & Pieces, February 4, 1993, Copyright (c) Economic Press, Inc., www.epinc.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: An Interactive Guide to Optical Illusions on the Internet. Explore live hands-on demonstrations, artwork, animation, stories, projects and lots of games and puzzles. http://www.sandlotscience.com/ Source:WEB EVANGELISM Mailto:majordomo@christianlists.com?body=subscribe%20web-evangelism |