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WITandWISDOM(tm) - September 6, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: There is only on thing more painful than learning from experience and that is not learning from experience. - Archibald McLeish (E- zine: Quote A Day Mailto:join-quoteaday@pulse.salko.com) ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: I SEE JESUS by Summer Waters, age 11 I saw Jesus last week. He was wearing blue jeans and an old shirt. He was up at the church building; He was alone and working hard. For just a minute he looked a little like one of our members. But it was Jesus . . . I could tell by his smile. I saw Jesus last Sunday. He was teaching a Bible class. He didn't talk real loud or use long words, But you could tell he believed what he said. For just a minute, he looked like my Bible teacher. But it was Jesus . . . I could tell by his loving voice. I saw Jesus yesterday. He was at the hospital visiting a friend who was sick. They prayed together quietly. For just a minute he looked like Brother Jones. But it was Jesus . . . I could tell by the tears in his eyes. I saw Jesus this morning. He was in my kitchen making my breakfast and fixing me a special lunch. For just a minute he looked like my mom. But it was Jesus . . . I could feel the love from his heart. I see Jesus everywhere, Taking food to the sick ... Welcoming others to his home, Being friendly to a newcomer ... & for just a minute, I think he's someone I know. But it's always Jesus . . . I can tell by the way he serves. (Steve Cantrell) ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: MEDICAL FUNNIES!!! I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam. ~~~~ A nurses' aide was helping a patient into the bathroom when the patient exclaimed, "You're not coming in here with me. This is only a one-seater!" ~~~~ During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed his doctor that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?", asked the doctor. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" The doctor had him quickly undress and discovered what he hoped he wouldn't see . . . . Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one. ~~~~ A nurse caring for a woman from Kentucky asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. The nurse asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly." (Kimberley Broyles) ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: Our flight home from vacation included a brief stop for refueling. As soon as the small plane came to a stop, several passengers lined up to use the restrooms. By the time I reached the front of the line, it was almost time to take off again, but I figured I would hurry. The pilot, though, wanted to leave right away. I was still in the restroom when his voice came over the intercom: "This is your pilot. I know you're in there. Come out with your pants up!" Jance Wisinski, READER'S DIGEST, May 1999 (E-zine: Pakistani Jokesİ Mailto:Pakistani-Jokeslist- subscribe@onelist.com) ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: FOOD: Tabasco sauce is made by fermenting vinegar and hot peppers in a French oak barrel which has three inches of salt on top and is aged for three years until all the salt is diffused through the barrel. Research indicates that mosquitos are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas. M&M's were developed so soldiers could eat the candy without getting their fingers sticky. (E-zine: TODAY'S USELESS FACTS Mailto:Useless_Facts-subscribe@listbot.com) |