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WITandWISDOM(tm) - September 15, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "The price of greatness is responsibility." - Winston Churchill (E-zine: GAGLER'S QUOTE OF THE DAY Mailto:signup@gagler.com) ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Over a year ago, maybe close to two now, Special Thoughts featured "WHAT I HAVE LEARNED." It listed a comment about life, and then the age of the person saying it. I made a copy of it, and sent it to a dear friend, and my uncle. I asked them to please send me their comments about life. My friend and my uncle responded as follows: Thank God for each new day! For all the wonderful friends! To share and express your love to them each day. Always share at least one hug a day. By Earl Mellott, Age 80, Date 2-17-98. (Earl passed away on August 27, 1998 - 6 months and 10 days after writing this. He was suffering from a cancer recurrence when he wrote this. Back in 1941 Earl had come within 15 minutes of not making it past his 23rd birthday. If he had eaten breakfast fifteen minutes later that day in the mess-hall at Pearl Harbor, he would have died along with thousands of others. God had a different plan for his life. He had one son and one daughter, nine grandchildren and four great-grandchildren.) To take one day at a time. Enjoy each day, don't worry. Stay away from pressure. I am thankful I have my daughter to write my cards. By Max Cooley, Age 90, born on 4/24/08 (Max is now 91 and living in Afton, WY. He has one daughter, three grandchildren, and three great grandchildren) (Susan, a WITandWISDOM(tm) reader) ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: YOU MIGHT BE IN A COUNTRY CHURCH IF . . . 1. The doors are never locked. 2. The Call to Worship is ,"Y'all come on in!" 3. People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the Ark. 4. The Preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" - and five guys stand up. 5. The restroom is outside. 6. Opening day of deer hunting season is recognized as an official church holiday. 7. A member requests to be buried in his four-wheel drive truck because, "I ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get me out of." 8. In the annual stewardship drive there is at least one pledge of "two calves." 9. Never in its entire 100-year history has one of its pastors had to buy any meat or vegetables. 10. When it rains, everybody's smiling. 11. Prayers regarding the weather are a standard part of every worship service. 12. A singing group is known as "The O.K. Chorale." 13. The church directory doesn't have last names. 14. The pastor wears boots. 15. Four generations of one family sit together in worship every Sunday. 16. The only time people lock their cars in the parking lot is during the summer and then only so their neighbors can't leave them a bag of squash. 17. There is no such thing as a "secret" sin. 18. Baptism is referred to as "branding." 19. There is a special fund-raiser for a new septic tank. 20. Finding and returning lost sheep is not just a parable. 21. You miss worship one Sunday morning and by 2 o'clock that afternoon you have had a dozen phone calls inquiring about your health. 22. High notes on the organ set dogs in the parking lot to howling. 23. People wonder when Jesus fed the 5,000 whether the two fish were bass or catfish. 24. It's not heaven, but you can see heaven from there. 25. The final words, of the benediction are, "Y'all come on back now, ya hear!" (Marcia Beuhman via E-zine: MONDAY FODDER Mailto:dgaufaaa@iohk.com?subject=Subscribe_Monday_Fodder) ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A kid called up his Mom from his college and asked her for some money, because he was broke. His Mother said, "Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?" "Uhh, oh yeah, o.k." responded the kid. So his Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back, Dad asked, "Well how much did you give the boy this time?" "Oh, I wrote 2 checks, one for $20, and the other for $1,000 out to him." "That's $1020!!!" yelled Dad, "Are you crazy???" "Don't worry hon," Mom said, kissed Dad on the on top of his bald head, "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1,000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 19!" (E-zine: JOKES EVERY DAY Mailto:jokesubscribe@jokeseveryday.com) ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: QUESTION: If you were looking for a new spouse, which ONE thing would be most important? Of the 3,878 participants who took the survey, they responded as follows: 11% Chose Good Looks 17% Chose Money 26% Chose Intelligence 43% Chose Sense of Humor It looks like 43% of us could increase our attractiveness to our spouse with a little effort. :) (E-zine: SERMON FODDER http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/Sermon_Fodder) |