| Prior Date | Back to Archive Index | Next Date |
|
WITandWISDOM(tm) - October 11, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "That's the risk you take if you change: that people you've been involved with won't like the new you. But other people who do will come along." - Lisa Alther (E-zine: INSPIRATION A DAY! Mailto:inspiration_a_day-subscribe@listbot.com) ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Widen My Vision God, open my eyes so I may see And feel Your presence close to me . . . Give me strength for my stumbling feet As I battle the crowd on life's busy street, And widen the vision of my unseeing eyes So in passing faces I'll recognize Not just a stranger, unloved and unknown, But a friend with a heart that is much like my own . . . Give me perception to make me aware That scattered profusely on life's thoroughfare Are the best Gifts of God that we daily pass by As we look at the world with an unseeing eye. By: Helen Steiner Rice (Dale Bullock http://www.followyourdreams.net/TheMastersTouch/vision.html ) ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: THEY SAID IT IN COURT! :o) Part 2 of 4 [Oct 4, 11, 18, 25] Next to the strange things you may have said on your first date, comes the comments said in court. Q: James stood back and shot Tommy Lee? A: Yes. Q: And then Tommy Lee pulled out his gun and shot James in the fracas? A: (After a hesitation) No sir, just above it. Q: What is your name? A: Ernestine Mc Dowell. Q: What is your marital status? A: Fair. Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies have been on dead people. Q: Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No. This is how I dress when I go to work. Q: You say you're innocent, yet five people swore they saw you steal the watch. A: Your Honor, I can produce 500 people who didn't see me steal it. Judge: Well, gentlemen of the jury, are you unanimous? Foreman: Yes, your Honor, we're all alike - temporarily insane. Q: When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station? A: Mr. BROOKS. Objection. That question should be taken out and shot. Q: Just what did you do to prevent the accident? A: I closed my eyes and screamed as loud as I could. Q: What can you tell us about the truthfulness and veracity of this defendant? A: Oh, she'll tell you the truth. She said she was going to kill the son of a gun - and she did. (WALTER GROFF) ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: I have this friend who always seemed to lean slightly to the left all the time. It used to bother me, so I suggested he see a doctor and have his legs checked out. For years, he refused and told me I was crazy. Last week, he finally went, and sure enough, the doctor discovered his left leg was 1/4 inch shorter than his right. After a quick bit of orthopedic surgery, he was cured. Both legs are exactly the same length now, and he no longer leans. "So," I said, "You didn't believe me when I told you a doctor could fix your leg." He just looked at me and said, "I stand corrected." (E-zine: MOTIVATIONAL MAILER Mailto:overcomeunlimited-subscribe@listbot.com) ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Surveys indicate that certain traits are common to most successful people. These people: Have a purpose in life. Take risks and exercise control. Solve problems rather than place blame. Care about quality. Share their expertise and knowledge. - Bits & Pieces, August 19, 1993 (Magazine: BITS & PIECES http://www.epinc.com/ ) |