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WITandWISDOM(tm) - October 13, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: The foolish person seeks happiness in the distance, the wise person grows it under his feet." - James Oppenheim (E-zine: AMERICA'S QUOTE Mailto:subscribe- quotes@listserv.salko.com) ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: One day Queen Victoria visited a paper mill owned by one of her subjects, and the owner was happy to show her through the great plant, explaining in detail the different processes of manufacture. During the journey through the factory she was taken into a large room filled with rags. They were in bins, in bales, and in huge piles on the floor. Some of them had been brought in by ragpickers and were filthy and dirty. These were being sorted and processed by the workmen. "Do you make paper of these?" the queen inquired. "Yes, our best paper is made from rags," the owner explained. She seemed to be in deep thought, then revealed what had been going through her mind. "But how can these dirty rags ever be made into clean white paper?" "We have washes," the guide explained, "which remove all the dirt and grime. We have chemical processes too, Your Majesty, by which every bit of color is removed from even these red rags." A few days later the queen was surprised to find on her desk a neatly-wrapped parcel, which on opening she found contained some of the whitest, most beautiful paper she had ever seen. On each sheet were her name and a watermark of her likeness. There was also a note from the man who had shown her through the paper mill. "Will the queen be pleased to accept a specimen of my paper, with the assurance that every sheet was manufactured from the rags which she saw in the warehouse on her recent visit to our plant, and I trust the result is such as even the queen may admire. Will the queen also allow me to say that I have had many a good sermon preached to me in my mill? I can understand how the Lord Jesus can take the poor sinner, and the vilest of the vile, and make them clean; and how though their sins be as scarlet, He can make them white as snow. And I can see how He can put His own name upon them: and just as these rags, transformed, may go into a royal palace and be admired, so poor sinners can be received into the palace of the Great King." By C. L. Paddock, "Signs of the Times", May 1, 1951 (Dale Galusha http://www.pacificpress.com/signs ) ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: It was Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my room watching television when the phone rang. "Hello?" A girl's voice came over the line. "Can I speak to Ben, please?" I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably a wrong number & I was bored. "I'm sorry, he's not in right now. Can I take a message?" "Do you know what time he'll be back?" she responded. "I think he said he'd be home around 10:00." Silence on the other end . . . a confused silence. "Is this Steve?" My name isn't Steve, either. This was definitely a wrong number. "Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben?" "Well . . . he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him . . ." she said in a slightly irritated voice. I replied, "Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago, and said that he would be back at 10:00." A shocked voice now: "Who's Karen?!" "The girl he went out with." "I know that! I mean . . . who is she?" "I don't know her last name. Look, do you want me to leave a message for Ben?" "Yes . . . please do. Tell him to call me when he gets home." She was sounding pretty irate at this point, and I could hear her temper flaring. "I sure will. Is this Jennifer?" She exploded this time. "Who's Jennifer?" Apparently she wasn't. "Well . . . he's going out with Jennifer at 10:00. I thought you were her. Sorry . . . it was an honest mistake." "Ben's the one that's made the mistake! Tell him that Alice called him and the she's Very Upset and that I would Like Him to Call Me as Soon As He Gets Home." I smiled and said, "Okay, I will . . . but Becky isn't going to like this . . ." " Click " (E- zine: THE FUNNIES Mailto:andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@egroups.com) ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: Steve Brown told a story about a friend of his who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets." (E-zine: SERMON FODDER http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/Sermon_Fodder ) ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: A pastor had on his desk a notebook labeled,"Complaints of Members Against Members." When one of his church members came to tell him the faults of another, he would say, "Well, here is my Complaint Book, I'll write down what you say, and then you can sign it. Then when I have to take the matter up officially, I shall know what I may expect you to testify to." The sight of the open book and the ready pen had its effect. "Oh, No, I could not sign anything like that." And no entry was made. The minister says he kept the book for forty years, opened it perhaps a thousand times, but never wrote a line in it. (Jo An Potts via E-zine: ANSWERS TO PRAYER Mailto:Majordomo@TAGnet.org?body=subscribe%20answers-to-prayer) |