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WITandWISDOM(tm) - October 18, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "We judge ourselves by our motives and others by their actions" - Dwight Morrow (E-zine: DIVERSIONS DIGEST http://www.worldstart.com/diversions.htm) ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: GOD IS PRESENT For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God has a positive answer for it. You say: "It's impossible" God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27) You say: "I'm too tired" God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30) You say: "Nobody really loves me" God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John 13:34) You say: "I can't go on" God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15) You say: "I can't figure things out" God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6) You say: "I can't do it" God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13) You say: "I'm not able" God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8) You say: "It's not worth it" God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28) You say: "I can't forgive myself" God says: I FORGIVE YOU (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1) You say: "I can't manage" God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19) You say: "I'm afraid" God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7) You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated" God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7) You say: "I don't have enough faith" God says: I've given everyone a measure of faith (Romans 12:3) You say: "I'm not smart enough" God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30) You say: "I feel all alone" God says: I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5) (Kathy Edman) ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: THEY SAID IT IN COURT! :o) Part 3 of 4 [Oct 4, 11, 18, 25] Next to the strange things you may have said on your first date, comes the comments said in court. Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing? A: Yes Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car? A: Yes, sir. Q: What did she say? A: "What disco am I at?" Q: How many trucks do you own? A: Seventeen. Q: Seventy? A: Seventeen. Q: Seventeen? A: No, about 12 Q: Did you blow your horn or anything? A: After the accident? Q: Before the accident. A: Sure, I played for 10 years. I went to school for it and everything. Q: Tell us your full name, please. A: Mine? Q: Yes, sir. A: 555-2723 Q: Mr. Daniels, do you have any problems hearing me? A: Not really. Q: Where do you live? A: Pardon? Q: Are you restricted in some way by having your third finger shot off? A: Yeah, a little. Q: What could you do before the accident that you can't do now? A: Wear a ring on it. Q: Where do you live? A: LaPosta Trailer Court. Q: How do you spell that trailer court? A: T-r-a-i-l-e-r C-o-u-r-t (Barbara Henry) ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: I spent more than two hours in the beauty shop getting my hair permed, cut and styled. Relieved to be done, I went up to the receptionist to pay. "Good afternoon!" she said cheerfully. "And who's your appointment with today?" - Kenna Latwesen in Reader's Digest http:www.readersdigest.com (E-zine: KEITH'S MOSTLY CLEAN HUMOR Mailto:maiser@mail.otherwhen.com?body=subscribe%20mchawlist%0d%0aexit) < BR>~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: CURRENCY: The first U.S. coin to bear the words, "United States of America" was a penny made in 1727. It was also inscribed with the plain-spoken motto: "Mind your own business." The ridges on the sides of coins are called reeding or milling. The Australian $5, $10, $20, $50 and $100 notes are made out of plastic. The number in the lower-right corner of the NEW $20, $50, and $100 bills changes color at different angles to prevent cons from copying them. (E-zine: TODAY'S USELESS FACTS Mailto:Useless_Facts- subscribe@listbot.com) |