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WITandWISDOM(tm) - November 12, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "Retreat is what one does when he has to - just before he begins again." - Richard L. Evans (E-zine: AMERICA'S QUOTE Mailto:subscribe-quotes@listserv.salko.com) ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: A CHRISTIAN PRISON Written by Max Lucado Near the city of Sao Jose dos Campos, Brazil, is a remarkable facility. Twenty years ago the Brazilian government turned a prison over to two Christians. The institution was renamed Humaita, and the plan was to run it on Christian principles. With the exception of two full-time staff, all the work is done by inmates. Families outside the prison adopt an inmate to work with during and after his term. Chuck Colson visited the prison and made this report: "When I visited Humaita I found the inmates smiling- particularly the murderer who held the keys, opened the gates and let me in. Wherever I walked I saw men at peace. I saw clean living areas, people working industriously. The walls were decorated with Biblical sayings from Psalms and Proverbs. . . My guide escorted me to the notorious prison cell once used for torture. Today, he told me, that block houses only a single inmate. As we reached the end of a long concrete corridor and he put the key in the lock, he paused and asked, 'Are you sure you want to go in?' 'Of course,' I replied impatiently, 'I've been in isolation cells all over the world.' Slowly he swung open the massive door, and I saw the prisoner in that punishment cell: a crucifix, beautifully carved by the Humaita inmates-the prisoner Jesus, hanging on a cross. 'He's doing time for the rest of us," my guide said softly.'" (E-zine: IM4JESUS! Mailto:im4jesus@iolusa.com) ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: THE SECRET GUIDE Part 2 of 2 [Nov 2 & 12] Here it is, the secret chart used by bachelors worldwide, because they don't have wives who can recognize on sight (and sometimes before) when the Big Mac has become one with the special sauce. ON THE SHELF: Canned Goods - Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball should be disposed of . . . Very carefully. Potatoes - Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth. Bread: Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread. Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are good indications that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment. You may wish to discard it at this time, depending on your interest in pharmaceuticals. Cereal: It is generally a good rule of thumb that cereal should be discarded when it is two years or longer beyond the expiration date, or when it will no longer fall out of the box by itself. Flour: Flour is spoiled when it wiggles, or things fly out when you open it. Pretzels: Normally eternal, pretzels may be discarded if they can no longer be picked up without falling apart. Otherwise, there's nothing to stop you from eating a pretzel that the Pharaoh put down only 4000 years ago. Raisins: Raisins should not usually be harder than your teeth. Salt: It never spoils. However, if you can't chip off reasonable amounts from the block, maybe another box is in order, as fresh salt usually pours. Spices: Most spices cannot die, they just fade away. They will be fine on your shelf, forever. Put them in your will. Vinegar: If your grandmother made it, it is probably still good. (E-zine: JOKES EVERY DAY Mailto:jokesubscribe@jokeseveryday.com) ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination. On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question?" - Discuss. After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer." The student received an "A" on the exam. (E-zine: JOKE OF THE DAY Mailto:subscribe-joker@send.memail.com ) ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: "On a commuter flight from Portland, Maine to Boston in 1987, the pilot heard an unusual noise near the rear of the plane. Henry Dempsey turned the controls over to the co-pilot and went back to check it out. As he reached the tail section, the plane hit an air pocket, and Dempsey was tossed against the rear door. He quickly discovered the source of the mysterious noise. The rear door had been improperly latched prior to take-off, and it flew open. Dempsey was instantly sucked out of the tiny jet. "The co-pilot saw the red light that indicated an open door. He radioed the nearest airport requesting permission for an emergency landing. He reported that the pilot had fallen out of the plane and wanted a helicopter to search the area. After the plane landed, the ground crew found Dempsey holding on to the outdoor ladder of the aircraft. Somehow he had caught the ladder and held on for ten minutes as the plane flew 200 mph at an altitude of 4,000 feet, and then, when landing, he kept his head from hitting the runway, which was only 12 inches away. According to the news reports, it took airport personnel several minutes to pry Dempsey's fingers free from the ladder." (E-zine: DAILY ENCOUNTER http://www.actsweb.org/subscribe.htm ) |