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WITandWISDOM(tm) - November 18, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. - Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894) (E-zine: DAILY HUMOR Mailto:Daily-Humor-subscribe@onelist.com) ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: It was a cold winter's day that Sunday. The parking lot to the church was filling up quickly. I noticed as got out of my car that some of my fellow church members were whispering among themselves as they walked into the church building. As I got closer I saw a man leaned up against the side wall on the outside of the church. He was almost laying down as if he was asleep. He had on a long trench coat that was almost in shreds and a hat topped his head, pulled down so you could not see his face. He wore shoes that looked 30 years old, too small for his feet, with holes all over them, his toes stuck out. I assumed this man was homeless, and either drunk or asleep, so I walked on by and on through the doors of the church. We all fellowshipped for a few minutes, and some mentioned the hobo outside. People snickered and gossiped but no one bothered to ask him to come in, including me. A few moments later church began. Through the opening part of the service, we sang and prayed, then awaited the preacher to take his place and to bring us the Word of God. Then the doors to the church opened and in came the homeless man walking down the aisle with his head down. People gasped and whispered and made faces. He made his way down the aisle and up behind the pulpit where he took off his hat and coat. My heart sank. There stood our preacher . . . he was the "homeless man". No one said a word. The preacher took his Bible and laid it on his stand. "Folks, I don't think I have to tell you what I am preaching about today." (Sharon Hamel) ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: MORE SIGNS: I was in a grocery store on the south side of Chicago that offered this deal: Oranges: 10 cents each or $1.50 per dozen Outside, the parking meter offered a wonderful deal: 15 minutes for a dime; 30 minutes for a quarter. - John L. Hoh, Jr. In Eagle, WI, there is a septic tank service that has on the front of the truck "Used Food Hauler" In Medford, WI, there is a tractor/farm implement dealer called "The Farmacy" In Marshfield, WI, there is a sign shop that advertizes, "See Us Before You Sign" (John L. Hoh, Jr., Contract & Free-Lance Writing, hohjohn@yahoo.com) ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: Recently, a widow of a millionaire, Maggie Malone, died at the age of 93. At her death, she left behind a sizeable estate; $50 million! The thing is, she bequeathed the entire estate was to the Florida Alligator Preservation Society. (...FAPS?) Her children were a little miffed at being cut out of the dibs. However, one of her sons had some pull in the press . . . An article in the local paper the next day read, "Millionairess who died recently, was high on Gatorade". (E-zine: LAUGH-A- LOT! Mailto:LaughALot@ListFarm.com) ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: The Future's Museum in Sweden contains a scale model of the solar system. The sun is 105 metres in diameter and the planets range from 3.5 mm to 6 km from the 'sun.' This particular model also contains the nearest star Proxima Centauri, still to scale situated in the Museum of Victoria . . . in Australia. (E-zine: TODAY'S USELESS FACTS Mailto:Useless_Facts-subscribe@listbot.com) |