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WITandWISDOM(tm) - December 15, 1999 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money. - Unknown (E-zine: INSPIRE http://www.infoadvn.com/inspire/) ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: One day, a wealthy family man took his son on a trip to the country so he could have his son see how poor country people were. They stayed one day and one night at the farm of a very humble farm family. When they got back home the father asked the son, "What did you think of the trip"? The son replied, "Very nice Dad." Dad said, "Did you notice how poor they were?" "Yes". "So, what did you learn from this trip?" "I've learned that we have one dog in the house, and they had four. We have a fountain and imported lamps in our garden, they have a stream with no end and the stars in the sky. Our garden goes to the edge of our property, they have the entire horizon as their back yard." At the end of the son's reply the father was speechless and then his son said, "Thank you Dad, for showing me how poor we really are." (Kiri Christina Hyatt) and (E-zine: DAILY BITS http://www.DailyBits.com ) ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGES "This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine Broadcast System. This is only a test." "Hello, this is Douglas. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil." (background noise -open a drawer and shuffle stuff around) "Okay, what would you like me to tell me?" "Hello. I'm Douglas's answering machine. What are you?" "Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hamm. Press Record button, I did that, and the light should be on. I wonder why it's not working right. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does . . . ." "Douglas's house, the final frontier. These are the messages of Douglas's answering machine. Its five-year mission: to seek out your name and your telephone number. To boldly inform you to wait for the tone." (Noisy pick-up of phone) "Hi, I'm a burglar and I was just about to steal Douglas's answering machine. If you give me your name and number I'll . . . uh . . . I'll post it on the fridge where he'll see it. By the way, do you know where he keeps the silver?" "The number you've dialed is purely imaginary. Please multiply by one and dial again." (Sound of loud music in background) "Hello? Just a second while I turn off the stereo." (Sound of person running - music gets quiet - sound of person running back to phone) "Okay, sorry about that. Hi there, who's this . . . Well hi! . . . Uh huh . . . yeah . . . well listen, you're talking to a machine, so please leave a message and I'll call you back." "Prepare for testing of Beep Software revision 1.05. Counting down to test: 5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . . ." voice 1: "Answer the phone, please, Hal." voice 2: "I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that." (Barbara A Bakie via E-zine: BILL'S PUNCH LINE Mailto:bills-punch-line- subscribe@onelist.com) ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A heavy snowstorm closed the schools in one town. When the children returned to school a few days later, one grade school teacher asked her students whether they had used the time away from school constructively. "I sure did, teacher," one little girl replied. "I just prayed for more snow." (E-zine: SENTIMENT FOR THE SOUL http://www.gcnhome.com ) ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: HTML STATION http://www.december.com/html If you have or need to create a web page this reference site may be of help to you. DESCRIPTION: This web links you to reference information and demonstrations of hypertext markup language (HTML). You'll find information about all levels HTML, as well as examples, tag summaries, and supporting and reference information. PUBLISHER: December Communications, Inc., Milwaukee, WI, USA. SECTIONS: Introductory HTML Demonstrations | HTML Specifications | HTML Entities, Codes, and Types | Techniques and Topics | Web Development Reference | and more. (E-zine: BEST WEB LINKS http://www.kuca.com/join.html) |