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WITandWISDOM(tm) - February 9, 2000 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: When you were born you alone cried, and everybody else was happy. So live that when you die, you alone are happy, and everybody else is crying. - From the book, "Who Switched the Price Tags?" by Tony Campolo ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: When my daughter and her family went with some friends for a picnic in the park, our 2-year-old grandson, Micah, noticed that one of the men, his uncle Dan, was carrying a bag of Oreo cookies. As the families gathered around on a blanket, Micah was seen kneeling off by himself with his little hands folded in prayer. When his daddy went over and asked what Micah was praying about, he replied, "I'm praying that Uncle Dan will give me a cookie." - Helen Lang, Whitmore, California ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: THINGS CHILDREN SAY & DO: A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers and sisters. She replied, "No, I'm the lonely child." (Jon B. Roberts) ~~~~~~ One day at the noon meal, the father noticed his young son had poor table manners. He said, "You're eating like a pig. Do you know what a pig is?" The response, "Yes, sir. That's a hog's little boy." (E-zine: DIVERSIONS DIGEST http://www.worldstart.com/diversions.htm ) ~~~~~~ Once when we left visiting my three year old nephew, my wife gave him a kiss on the cheek. He said, "Oh don't do that. Kisses make me sleepy and I don't want to take a nap. When mommy kisses me at night, I get sleepy. I don't like kisses during the day!" - Lang (Lang is a WITandWISDOM(tm) Subscriber) ~~~~~~ A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic. "Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?" A girl raised her hand and asked, "To draw out all his savings?" (E-zine: KITTY'S DAILY MEWS Mailto:kittysdailymews-subscribe@topica.com) ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI Insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones' sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said: "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI Insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000." "Now", he concluded, "which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?" (E-zine: AMERICA'S JOKE Mailto:subscribe-aj@listserve.onlineventures.net) ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: THE INTERNET PUBLIC LIBRARY YOUTH DIVISION DESCRIPTION: This is The Internet Public Library Youth Division. The Internet Public Library is the first public library of the Internet. Librarians are skilled at finding the good stuff, organizing it, and making it easier for people to find and use. PUBLISHER: The School of Information and Library Studies University of Michigan, USA. URL: http://www.ipl.org/youth/ (E-zine: BEST WEB LINKS http://www.kuca.com/join.html) |