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WITandWISDOM(tm) - May 12, 2000
~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "I am not accustomed to the use of the language of eulogy; I have never studied the art of paying compliments to women; but I must say, that if all that has been said by orators and poets since the creation of the world in praise of women were applied to the women of America, it would not do them justice for their conduct during this war. I will close by saying, God bless the women of America!" - Abraham Lincoln Source: Ancestry Daily News, Copyright (c) 2000, www.ancestry.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: DEAR MOM, You made me go to Sunday School; You insisted that I get a college degree; You made me go to sleep by 9 PM when I was an adolescent; You made me come inside when it got dark; You told me not to play with matches; You corrected my grammar; You made me wash my hands; You made me eat my vegetables; You made me walk my dog; You wouldn't let me cross the big avenue until I was ten years old; You made me use a handkerchief instead of using my sleeve; You told me to do my homework; You made me stand up straight, and take my hands out of my pockets; You made me look it up in the dictionary; You wouldn't let me have dessert before dinner; You made me pay for Mrs. Larson's window; You made me clean my room; You made me put my money in the bank; You made me mow the lawn; You made me shovel the snow off the sidewalk; You wouldn't let me watch too much TV; You made me turn down my music; You made me wear a bicycle helmet; You wouldn't let me get a motorcycle; You made me get a haircut; You said that I couldn't have snakes; You wouldn't let me spit, or pick my nose; You slapped me on the rump just because the principal called; You wouldn't let me smoke grass or drink booze; You wouldn't let me play with firecrackers; You told the police that I was hiding in the basement; and therefore, . . . I am what I am today because of you! Happy Mother's Day :) Source: Keith's Mostly Clean Humor, McHawList-subscribe@onelist.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! 4 YEARS OF AGE My Mommy can do anything! 8 YEARS OF AGE My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot! 12 YEARS OF AGE My Mother doesn't really know quite everything. 14 YEARS OF AGE Naturally, Mother doesn't know that either. 16 YEARS OF AGE Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned. 18 YEARS OF AGE That old woman? She's way out of date! 25 YEARS OF AGE Well, she might know a little bit about it. 35 YEARS OF AGE Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion. 45 YEARS OF AGE Wonder what Mom would have thought about it? 65 YEARS OF AGE Wish I could talk it over with Mom once more . . . Source: Bill's Punch Line, bills-punch-line-subscribe@onelist.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A little boy walked up to the librarian to check out a book entitled "COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE FOR MOTHERS." When the librarian asked him if it was for his mother, he answered no. "Then why are you checking it out?" "Because," said the boy, beaming from ear to ear, . . . "I just started collecting moths last month!" Source: Bill's Punch Line, bills-punch-line-subscribe@onelist.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: The Nile River is so long that had it been formed in the United States, it could have stretched from New York to Los Angeles. Then maybe the pyramids would have been built in Kansas and instead of Mother's Day, Americans could have celebrated Mummy's Day. From: More Fascinating Facts Source: MailBits.com Copyright (c) 1998-2000. All rights reserved. Trivia- subscribe@mailbits.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org |