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WITandWISDOM(tm) - October 10, 2000 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: You don't run twenty-six miles at five minutes a mile on good looks and a secret recipe. - Frank Shorter, (Inducted into the U.S. Olympic Hall of Fame in 1984 and into the National Track & Field Hall of Fame in 1989.) Source: Inspire, Copyright (c) 2000 Information Advantage Corporation, www.infoadvn.com/inspire/ via http://www.witandwisdom.org ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: I had the name of a young woman, a minister's daughter, in Brooklyn - it's a story I can't get out of my mind, I went to visit her because I thought, hey, I have a daughter, and I would want a pastor to do the same for her. So I got in my car - a car that wasn't worth stealing - and drove down there. I ran up the stairs and knocked at the door. I could hear the music: boom, boom, boom, boom. So I knocked louder. I was just getting back to take a run at the door when she opened it. "Who are you?" she said. "Ron Halverson," I said. "Who's Ron Halverson?" she said. "A minister," I said. "I'm not interested," she said. "I know; that's why I'm here," I said. So on that, she let me in. I sat there and talked to her, and she told me about her life. She'd grown up in Christian schools, had sung those pretty little hymns and sat and listened to her daddy preach. Then she got into an academy, got with the wrong people, and wound up pregnant. Her father got angry. "You're not my daughter," he raged. So she hitchhiked across the country, and leeches were waiting for her. They set her up in an apartment. She'd been wasted when I found her, a little child playing in her room. I asked her if she ever thought about going home. She said, "I've burned all the bridges; I can't go home." (Can you imagine the pain she felt? Can you imagine the hurt? The daughter of a minister, and she can't go home! And we pay him a salary!) So I prayed with her, got in my car, and drove home. Her dad was in California and I was in New York, but I found him. "Yes, sir, good afternoon," he answered my telephone call in his professional voice. "I wanted to call and tell you that I just visited with your daughter," I said. "I have no daughter," he said. "You're a liar!" I said. "You have a beautiful daughter, and a beautiful little grandchild. Did you ever hear about the prodigal?" His heart was broken as we talked, and he started to cry. And God resurrected him. God converted him. I said, "Do you want your daughter home?" He said, "Yes, I want her home. Please . . ." I said, "She'll be home!" I jumped into my car and drove to the airport. I bought his daughter a ticket and sent her back home. Five years later I was at a great convention, hundreds of Christians sitting out there being fed. Afterward, a girl came up to me with a nice-looking young man. She told me, "I got my education, I'm teaching now in our church school. I want to introduce you to my believing husband." By Ron Halverson, Decanter, Georgia via http://www.witandwisdom.org ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: THINGS CHILDREN SAY & DO: A chaplain at the Naval Station, I became an adopted uncle to a commander's four-year-old daughter. When I asked her one day what she learned in Bible School that day, she answered, "I learned about the ten commanders and that they were always broke!" - By May B. Yew From: "Seasoned with Laughter, A Tossed Salad of Tales about Parsonage Pandemonium and Ministerial Mayhem." by Sharon M. Cress, Copyright (c) 1999. ~~~ Our three-year-old daughter when asked by a five-year-old why her daddy did not carry a lunch box to work replied in a loud voice for all the church to hear, "Oh, my daddy doesn't work; he's a preacher!" - By Evelyn Gates From: "Seasoned with Laughter, A Tossed Salad of Tales about Parsonage Pandemonium and Ministerial Mayhem." by Sharon M. Cress, Copyright (c) 1999. ~~~ One of the teachers at our church school was teaching her class what the prefix "trans" meant - trans-Atlantic - across the Atlantic; transcontinental - across the continent. When she asked for examples, one little boy raised his hand. "Does 'transparent' mean a cross parent?" - By Marie Dale, Idaho, USA From: "Seasoned with Laughter, A Tossed Salad of Tales about Parsonage Pandemonium and Ministerial Mayhem." by Sharon M. Cress, Copyright (c) 1999. ~~~ It was our first week at a new church. The membership was small, only about twenty-six members, all retired and elderly. My two girls had gotten lots of attention and were rather stimulated. Halfway through the service there was a lull in the program. It was during that silence that my little one decided to announce loudly, "Mommy, my butt itches!" - By Lynn Corea From: "Seasoned with Laughter, A Tossed Salad of Tales about Parsonage Pandemonium and Ministerial Mayhem." by Sharon M. Cress, Copyright (c) 1999. "Seasoned with Laughter" was provided courtesy of the publisher and is available for $6.95 at http://www.ministerialassociation.com/resources/books/laugh.html ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: Donald Ogden Stewart, the writer, had a son away at prep school. When the boy reached the age of 14, Stewart wrote him the following letter: "Dear Son, Now that you have reached the magic age of 14, the time has come to tell you about the bees and flowers. There is a male and a female bee, although I haven't the slightest idea which is which. As for the flowers - we get ours from the Plaza Florists, Inc. Well, that takes care of that. Write soon. Affectionately, Father." Source: Bits & Pieces, Copyright (c) Economic Press, Inc., www.epinc.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: "The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible." - A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.) Source: Awesome Quotes, www.coolnewsletters.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org |