| Prior Date | Back to Archive Index | Next Date |
|
WITandWISDOM(tm) - October 16, 2000 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't, and a sense of humor to console him for what he is . . . - Author Unknown Source: The Funnies, andychaps_the-funnies- subscribe@egroups.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Walter B. Knight, author of the Master Book of New Illustrations, relates that a church member committed a grievous sin and it fell the pastor's duty to deal with the problem. He took it to his church board. Everyone agreed that the sin was detestable. One board member huffed that this was one sin she never would be guilty of committing. All the other board members, except one, agreed - they would never be caught dead committing that particular sin. The one exception stated that, if he had been tempted, he might have fallen even lower. When the board talked about visiting the fallen brother and confronting him with his wrongdoing, the pastor chose to take with him the board member who admitted he might have sinned even more grievously. Said the pastor, "You seem to be the only one of us who has the right spirit to call on our sinning brother and restore him to fellowship and acceptance with the Lord." By Donald E. and Vesta W. Mansell, "Sure As The Dawn" Copyright (c) 1993 via http://www.witandwisdom.org ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: Quotes from Actual Medical Records as Dictated by Physicians? The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him. The patient refused an autopsy. The patient has no past history of suicides. The patient expired on the floor uneventfully. The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December. The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed. She is numb from her toes down. The skin was moist and dry. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches. Coming from Detroit, this man has no children. Patient was alert and unresponsive. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room. The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took a job as a stockbroker instead. Source: The Funnies, andychaps_the-funnies- subscribe@egroups.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: My four year old grandson had just gotten a new pair of camp shorts, complete with many zippered pockets and a swivel loop intended for a jackknife. "Do you know what that loop is for?" I asked him. "Sure I do," he replied. "That's for my beeper." Source: Humor Digest via http://www.witandwisdom.org ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: In 1785, another Frenchman, Jean-Pierre Blanchard, set out to become the first balloonist to fly across the English Channel. With a wealthy American, John Jeffries, as his sponsor and passenger, Blanchard took off from Dover but the balloon began to sink perilously close to the sea. To lighten the load, they jettisoned the flapping wings and rudder which were attached to the basket and then their own coats. As the balloon continued to drop, they were forced to discard their very pants! This emergency action ended up saving the day and the landed safely on French soil. Source: ArcaMax Trivia, www.arcamax.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org |