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WITandWISDOM(tm) - January 8, 2001 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "Getters generally don't get happiness; givers get it." - Author Unknown Source: Awesome Quotes, www.coolnewsletters.com ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: One day a school inspector was visiting a school, and he arose to give a talk to the boys and girls. He chose the subject of "Patriotism," and, as he proceeded, he pointed to the American flag that was draped on the wall, and asked impressively, "What is that flag hanging there for?" A boy replied, "To hide the dirt." So many people wear the badge and emblem of Christian discipleship just to cover up some blemish, weakness, or fault in their lives. The real work of the cross is to blot out sin, not to cover it up. From: Missionary Worker Source: Signs of the Times, Copyright (c) February 19, 1935, Pacific Press, www.pacificpress.com/signs Submitted by: Dale Galusha ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: FINAL EXAM About 30 years ago, my father taught Literature in high school summer school. The school directed that each class give a final exam on the last day of the term and then submit completed grade cards by the end of the day. This usually meant a lot of extra hassle for the teachers. My father, however, gave the final a day early and computed all of the grade card scores. The cards were already to be turned in. When the students came to class the last day, my father stood in front of the class and told them that the administration had decreed that a final exam was to be given that day, and he had just the "final" for them. This is a copy of the "final exam" he passed out: Hope you enjoy! Pam HOW SMART ARE YOU? If the letter Z appears anywhere before this comma, cross it out, otherwise cross it out in this word: Zoo. Now unless the word "word" appears in sword, draw a wavy line here _________, otherwise draw a cross; and by the way, if A is number 1 in the alphabet, what does JM total? _____ If dogs chase cats, and cats chase mice, tell what single-figure odd number becomes even when viewed upside down, ______, otherwise draw a cross ______. Don't write DISCURSIVE here __________ if the word does not contain all of the vowels, but instead write the first four vowels in the alphabet. Now go back to the first sentence and circle the word Zoo unless a circle cannot represent any letter of the alphabet. So much for the alphabet, except that if C is not the third letter don't draw a square here _____ but do draw a cow's ear at the bottom of the page, unless D is not the second letter, in which case draw as human ear, unless you can't draw a human ear. If EAR rhymes with HAIR draw an ear anyway. Can you count from 10 down to 5? Do this backwards, writing the numbers on this line _______________. Now if a BAT can be a bird or not an animal don't draw a ball at the left of this line, but write there the letters which appear least often in ABRACADABRA. Punctuate this sentence to make sense: THAT THAT IS IS. Then if the wrong answer to "What is the largest state?" is Texas, write California here ___________ otherwise in the same space don't write ZOWIE unless deer hear. Draw a line over the second word in this sentence and under the second word in the next sentence. Write three words ending in "X" at the top of this page. Write XYZ at the left of the page if a circle is not a square: Wait! Write it at the right of the page instead unless a circle is sometimes bigger than a square. Next, give the wrong answer to the negative of this question: How old are you? ______ Now if you've had enough, write UNCLE at the end of this sentence, otherwise write UNCLE _______. Source: Have a Nice Day ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: After changing my hair color several times, my husband remarked, "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were in the Witness Protection Program." - By Denise Fernald Submitted by Denise Fernald ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Wind chill is the apparent temperature which results from the combined effect of air temperature and wind speed. See how low air temperatures and high wind speeds can combine to produce dangerously cold wind chill temperatures by visiting the Sterling, VA NWS Forecast Office Web site for an interactive Weather Calculator, including calculations of: Conversions of temperature units Relative Humidity Wind Chill Factor Heat Index http://www.nws.noaa.gov/er/lwx/wxcalc/wxchart.htm Source: Website of the Week (WoW!) www.wsanford.com/~wsanford/exo/wow.html |