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WITandWISDOM(tm) - February 26, 2001 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Make no judgments where you have no compassion. - Anne McCaffrey Source: This Day's Thought ThisDaysThought- subscribe@listbot.com ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: RECALL NOTICE: The maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed, Subsequential Internal Non-Morality, or more commonly known as S-I-N, as it is primarily symptomized by loss of moral judgement. Some other symptoms: (a) Loss of direction (b) Foul vocal emissions (c) Amnesia of origin (d) Lack of peace and joy (e) Selfish, or violent, behavior (f) Depression or confusion in the mental component (g) Fearful (h) Idolatry The manufacturer, who is neither liable or at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service, free of charge to correct this S-I-N defect. The number to call for the recall station in your area is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of S-I-N by pressing R-E-P-E-N-T-A-N-C-E. Next, download J-E-S-U-S into the heart. No matter how big or small the S-I-N defect is, the JESUS repair will replace it with: (a) Love (b) Joy (c) Peace (d) Long-suffering (e) Gentleness (f) Goodness (g) Faith (h) Meekness (i) Temperance Please see operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further details on the use of these fixes. WARNING: Continuing to operate the human unit without correction, voids the manufacturer's warranty, exposing owner to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. Submitted by Gerrie Woods ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: DEEP QUESTIONS ABOUT LIFE? Part 3 of 6 [2001: 1-15, 2-5, 2- 26, 3-16, 4-6, 4-26] If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose? If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen? If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"? Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards? Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? Submitted by Jackson Girl, Joshua, Cyn MacGregor, Wendell Calkins, Les Pourciau, John Stone ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: When my daughter was about five we bought her a kitchen play set, complete with stove, sink, refrigerator, table & chairs, chalkboard, dishes, telephone...you name it. After setting it up I asked her if she was going to cook dinner for mommy and daddy. Excited, she shook her head yes! She ran to the telephone and ordered three cokes, three fries, and three hamburgers. - By Barb Source: Just for Grins www.coolnewsletters.com ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: The 12th president of the United States was David Rice Atchinson, a Missouri senator who served for one day in 1849. The new president usually took office on March 4. But that year it fell on a Sunday, and although President James Polk left on schedule, Zachary Taylor did not take the oath until the next day. Rice was president pro tempore of the Senate, and under the provisions of the Constitution, he served until Taylor was sworn in. Atchinson neither started a war nor raised any taxes: he just left quietly after 24 hours. From: Facts About the Presidents by Joseph N. Kane, Published by H. W. Wilson, Mar 1993 ISBN: 0824208455 Source: MailBits.com Trivia, Copyright (c) 1998-2001. All rights reserved. Trivia-subscribe@mailbits.com This trivia regarding David Rice Atchinson being US President for one day in 1849 is quite likely incorrect. For more information visit: http://www.snopes2.com/spoons/fracture/atchison.htm Submitted by Asa Sparks |