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WITandWISDOM(tm) - May 1, 2001 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them. - Mark Twain Source: The Funnies andychaps_the- funnies-subscribe@egroups.com ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: I was sitting, torn by grief. Someone came and talked to me of God's dealing, of why it happened, of hope beyond the grave. He talked constantly, he said things I knew were true. I was unmoved except to wish that he would go away. He finally did. Another came and sat beside me. He didn't talk. He didn't ask leading questions. He just sat beside me for an hour or more, listened when I said something, answered briefly, prayed simply, left. I was moved, I was comforted. I hated to see him go. By Joseph Bayley - The View from a Hearse Source: Peter's Pearls, http://www.peterspearls.com.au ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: TIPS FOR MOMS & DADS Part 3 of 18 HINT #041: Teach them four precious words: "We can't afford it.". HINT #042: Carry Wash'n Dri. HINT #043: Smile when you change that diaper. HINT #044: It's absolutely okay to say "No". HINT #045: Buy chunky peanut butter in jumbo jars. HINT #046: Run a credit line at the toy store. HINT #047: Forget suede. HINT #048: Teachers ARE underpaid. HINT #049: Learn the rules of football. HINT #050: Teach them to write thank you notes. HINT #051: Your teenage daughter WILL find you embarrassing. HINT #052: Cheese food is not cheese. HINT #053: Thirteen is too late to put them up for adoption. HINT #054: Potty training builds character (yours). HINT #055: Sibling rivalry builds character (theirs). HINT #056: Worry, worry, worry. HINT #057: Childbirth is not for wimps. HINT #058: Stretch marks are a badge of honor. HINT #059: Half your brain leaves with the placenta. [The eighteen parts of "Tips for Moms & Dads" can be found in the following issues of WITandWISDOM(tm): 2001 - #1 Mar 1, #2 Apr 2, #3 May 1, #4 Jun 1, #5 Jul 2, #6 Aug 1, #7 Sep 3, #8 Oct 1, 1998 - #9 Jan 1, #10 Feb 2, #11 Mar 2, #12 Apr 1, #13 May 1, #14 Jun 1, #15 Jul 1, #16 Aug 3, #17 Sep 1, #18 Oct 1] Source: Humor 'R Us http://humor.morstad.org/ ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them. "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'Come fly the friendly skies'?" Joe answered with the correct airline. "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?" Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty. "Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, 'Just do it'?" And John answered, "Mom...." Source: Monday Fodder dgaufaaa@i ohk.com?subject=Subscribe_Monday_Fodder ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: A sixth grade boy found that Ohio did not have a state motto. He single-handedly got enough signatures and took his petition before the State Legislature. Because of him the official state motto for Ohio is "All things are possible with God." A 2nd Helping of Chicken Soup for the Soul, By Canfield, Jack; Hansen, Mark Victor, Published by Health Communications, Inc. Copyright (c) April 1995, ISBN: 1558743316 http://isbn.nu/1558743316/price |