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WITandWISDOM(tm) - December 24, 2001 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "There are plenty of rules for attaining success, but none of them work unless you do!" - Mark Twain Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies Subjects: Rules, Work, Success ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: MY WONDERFUL GRANDMA By Carol Laycock, (c)Copyright 1999, Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada Grandma is ninety-eight this Christmas. In spite declining health, she forges on with characteristic determination, hope, and wit. We thought we might lose her last October - how many more heart attacks can her frail body take? - but, true to form, Grandma rallied again. "I couldn't miss a Christmas party, now could I!" she quipped on the way home from the hospital. "No, Grandma," I laughed "It wouldn't be a party without you." I remember my first Christmas party with Grandma. I was just a kid. I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb: "There is no Santa Claus," she jeered. "Even dummies know that!" My grandma is not the gushy kind, never was. I fled to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me. I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed with one of her world-famous cinnamon buns. Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between bites, I told her everything. She was ready for me. "No Santa Claus!" she snorted. "Ridiculous! Don't believe it. That rumour has been going around for years, and it makes me mad, plain mad. Now, put on your coat, and let's go." "Go? Go where, Grandma?" I asked. I hadn't even finished my second cinnamon bun. "Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one store in town that had a little bit of just about everything. As we walked through its doors, Grandma handed me ten dollars. That was a bundle in those days. 'Take this money," she said, "and buy something for someone who needs it. I'll wait for you in the car." Then she turned and walked out of Kerby's. I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by myself. The store seemed big and crowded, full of people scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping. For a few moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that ten-dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to buy it for. I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my neighbours, the kids at school, the people who went to my church. I was just about thought out, when I suddenly thought of Bobbie Decker. He was a kid with bad breath and messy hair, and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's grade-two class. Bobbie Decker didn't have a coat. I knew that because he never went out for recess during the winter. His mother always wrote a note, telling the teacher that he had a cough, but all we kids knew that Bobbie Decker didn't have a cough, and he didn't have a coat. I fingered the ten-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy Bobbie Decker a coat. I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it. It looked real warm, and he would like that. "Is this a Christmas present for someone?" the lady behind the counter asked kindly, as I laid my ten dollars down. "Yes," I replied shyly. "It's ... for Bobbie." The nice lady smiled at me. I didn't get any change, but she put the coat in a bag and wished me a Merry Christmas. That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat in Christmas paper and ribbons, and write, "To Bobbie, From Santa Claus" on it - Grandma said that Santa always insisted on secrecy. Then she drove me over to Bobbie Decker's house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever officially one of Santa's helpers. Grandma parked down the street from Bobbie's house, and she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk Then Grandma gave me a nudge. "All right, Santa Claus," she whispered, "get going." I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the present down on his step, pounded his doorbell and flew back to the safety of the bushes and Grandma. Together we waited breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open. Finally it did, and there stood Bobbie. Forty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering, beside my grandma, in Bobbie Decker's bushes. That night, I realized that those awful rumours about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were: ridiculous. Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team. Submitted by Sharon Hamel Subjects: Santa Claus, Benevolence, Christmas, Gifts ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: CHRISTMAS SHORTIES What are Santa's helpers called? Subordinate Clauses Who sings "Love Me Tender," and makes Christmas toys? Santa's little Elvis Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most? "Rude"olph How did the Gingerbread Man make his bed? With a cookie sheet. What reindeer has the cleanest antlers? Comet What do you call the fear of getting stuck while sliding down a chimney? Santa Claus-trophbia Source: Dave's Daily Chuckle, http://www.Daily-Chuckle.com Subjects: Christmas, One Liners ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband. "Henry," she said, "I've just received a letter from mother saying she isn't accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that? I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn't you?" "Er, yes, I did," said the husband. "But I couldn't spell convenience, so I made it risk." Source: Kitty's Daily Mews, Copyright (c) 1997-2001 All rights reserved worldwide, http://www.katscratch.com/ Subjects: Letters, Mother-in- Laws ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: (This is indeed good news if it turns out to be true and it's put into practice! ) Chinese Premier Zhu Rongji recently announced a change in policy concerning the government's perspective of unregistered churches. At a meeting with the Chairman of the U.S. Protestant-Catholic Christian Alliance, Premier Zhu said that from now on, unregistered Protestant and Catholic churches would be able to register with the government without joining the official government-sponsored regulatory agencies: the Three-Self Patriotic Movement (TSPM) for Protestants and the Catholic Patriotic Association (CPA) for Roman Catholics. The Chinese-language World Daily newspaper in New York reported that once the churches are registered, they may conduct activities openly without the restrictions and limitations imposed upon the TSPM and CPA. However, it is too soon to say whether significant advances will be made towards genuine religious freedom. (Missions Insider) @MissionNet Summary News - Subscribe mailto:mnet-on@ls.pmbx.net Source: Monday Fodder dgaufaaa@iohk.com?subject=Subscribe_Monday_Fodder Subjects: China, Religious Liberty |