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WITandWISDOM(tm) - December 26, 2001 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Show me a man who cannot bother to do little things, and I'll show you a man who cannot be trusted to do big things. - Bill Cosby Source: Web Evangelism, http://www.gospelcom.net/guide/web-evangelism.html#web Subjects: Humility, Trust ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: After Christmas vacation, a teacher asked her small pupils to write an account of how they spent their holidays. One youngster wrote about a visit to his grandparents in a life-care community for retired folks: "We always spend Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa," he said. "They used to live here in a big red house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida. They live in a place with a lot of retarded people. They live in tin huts. They ride big three wheel tricycles. They go to a big building they call a wrecked hall but it is fixed now. They play games there and do exercises, but they don't do them very good. There is a swimming pool and they go to it and just stand there in the water with their hats on. I guess they don't know how to swim. "My grandma used to bake cookies and stuff. But I guess she forgot how. Nobody cooks - they all go out to fast food restaurants. As you come into the park, there is a doll house with a man sitting in it. He watches all day, so they can't get out without him seeing them. They wear badges with their names on them. I guess they don't know who they are. "My Grandpa and Grandma worked hard all their lives and earned their retardment. I wish they would move back home but I guess the man in the doll house won't let them out." By Eric W. Johnson, Humorous Stories About the Human Condition Subjects: Retirement ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: MOMMY, WHAT IS THE DEFINITION OF... Amnesia?-------------What did you just ask me? Apathy? ---------------I don't care. Bigotry? ---------------I'm not going to tell someone like you. Dyslexia? --- ----------Beeing Sackwards Egotistical? ----------I'm the best person to answer that question. Evasive?--------------Go do your homework. Flatulent?------------- That question really stinks! Hostility?--------------If you ask me just one more question, I'll kill you ! Ignorance?------------I don't know. Indifference?---------It doesn't matter. Influenza?-------------You've got to be sick to ask me that question. Insomnia?-------------I stayed awake all last night thinking of the answer. Irreverent?----------- I swear to God, you ask too many questions! Narcissism?----------Before I answer, tell me, don't I look great? Over-Protective?--- I don't know if you're ready for the answer. Paranoid?------------You probably think I don't know the answer, do you? Procrastination?---- I'll tell you tomorrow. Repetitive?-----------I already told you the answer once before. Self-Centered?------Well, I know the answer, that's all that matters. Suspicious?----------Why are you asking me all these questions? From : Dr. Frasier Crane - Richmond, Virginia, USA Source: Sebastian's Humor Service Subjects: Definitions ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say Grace when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from countless refrigerator leftovers. "I don't know," he said dubiously. "It seems to me that we've blessed all this stuff before." From: Sermon Fodder, http://www.yahoogroups.com/subscribe.cgi/Sermon_Fodder Source: Monday Fodder dgaufaaa@i ohk.com?subject=Subscribe_Monday_Fodder Subjects: Blessing ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: The following web site has a beautiful inspirational presentation. It is also available for downloading as a screen saver. http://www.worldtradehope.com/hopetwo.html Submitte d by Glen Walker at http://www.prophecymadeeasy.com Subjects: Computer Tips |