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WITandWISDOM(tm) - January 15, 2002 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right." - Henry Ford Source: Weekend Encounter, by Dick Innes, Copyright 2001, http://www.actsweb.org/subscribe.htm Subjects: Attitude ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: EXPLAINING GOD Written by Danny Dutton, age 8, Chula Vista, California for his third grade homework assignment to "Explain God" "One of God's main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die so there will be enough people to take care of things here on earth. He doesn't make grown-ups, just babies. I think because they are smaller and easier to make. That way, He doesn't have to take up His valuable time teaching them to talk and walk, He can just leave that to mothers and fathers. God's second most important job is listening to prayers. An awful lot of this goes on, since some people, like preachers and things, pray at times besides bedtime. God doesn't have time to listen to the radio or TV on account of this. Since He hears everything, not only prayers, there must be a terrible lot of noise in His ears, unless He has thought of a way to turn it off. God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere, which keeps Him pretty busy. So you shouldn't go wasting His time by going over your parent's head asking for something they said you couldn't have. Atheists are people who don't believe in God. I don't think there are any in Chula Vista. At least there aren't any who come to our church. Jesus is God's Son. He used to do all the hard work like walking on water and performing miracles and trying to teach the people who didn't want to learn about God. They finally got tired of Him preaching to them and they crucified Him. But He was good and kind like His Father and He told His Father that they didn't know what they were doing and to forgive them and God said OK. His Dad (God) appreciated everything that He had done and all His hard work on earth so He told Him He didn't have to go out on the road anymore. He could stay in heaven. So He did. And now He helps His Dad out by listening to prayers and seeing things which are important for God to take care of and which ones He can take care of Himself without having to bother God. Like a secretary, only more important, of course. You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to hear you because they got it worked out so one of them is on duty all the time. You should always go to Church on Sunday because it makes God happy, and if there's anybody you want to make happy, it's God. Don't skip church to do something you think will be more fun like going to the beach. This is wrong! And, besides, the sun doesn't come out at the beach until noon anyway. If you don't believe in God, besides being an atheist, you will be very lonely, because your parents can't go everywhere with you, like to camp, but God can. It is good to know He's around you when you're scared in the dark or when you can't swim very good and you get thrown into real deep water by big kids. But you shouldn't just always think of what God can do for you. I figure God put me here and He can take me back anytime He pleases. And that's why I believe in God." Submitted by Mavis Weatherhead Subjects: Homework, God ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: How is that? . . . interesting phone calls: CALLER: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please. OPERATOR: I'm sorry, there's no such listing. Are you sure you have the spelling correct? CALLER: Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the B fell off. CALLER: The water board please. OPERATOR: Which department? CALLER: Tap water CALLER: I'd like the number for a Reverend in Cardiff, please. OPERATOR: Do you have his name? CALLER: No, but he has a dog named Ben. CALLER: The Union of Shopkeepers and Alligators please. OPERATOR: You mean the Amalgamated Union of Shopkeepers? CALLER: Er, yes. Source: Kitty's Daily Mews, Copyright (c) 1997-2001 All rights reserved worldwide, http://www.katscratch.com/ Subjects: Telephone, Operator ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: Church Bulletin Bloopers: Come join us next week for a traditional Latin Mass in English. All current and "former" Scouts and Scouters, February 11th is Scouting Sunday. Please wear your uniform if you are able. Source: Sermon Fodder, http://www.yahoogroups.com/subscribe.cgi/Sermon_Fodder Subjects: Bulletin Bloopers ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: LIGHTNING Each second there are 50 to 100 Cloud-to-Ground Lightning Strikes to the Earth world-wide. Most lightning strikes average 2 to 3 miles long and carry a current of 10000 Amps at 100 million Volts. The temperature of a typical lightning bolt is 40,000 F. This is seven times hotter than the surface of the Sun, which is a mere 6000 F. A typical bolt is only the size of a Quarter to Half-Dollar, but looks wider because its light is so bright. Lightning Strikes create powerful radio waves in the frequency range of 3 KHz (audio, VLF) through 10 MHZ (shortwave radio). The VLF (3000 Hz to 30000 Hz) "lightning signatures" can travel around the world, allowing monitoring of world-wide lightning. The shortwave "lightning signatures" can travel half-way around the Earth (the night-time side of the Earth). The best region to listen for distant shortwave lightning signatures is from 3 MHZ through 7 MHZ. Source: ArcaMax Trivia, http://www.arcamax.com Subjects: Lightning |