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WITandWISDOM(tm) - April 2, 2002 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. - W. T. Purkiser, Christian author Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies Subjects: Blessings, Thankfulness ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: This interview is between the Holy Land Press (Press) and Moses. Part 1 of 2 [Apr 2, 12] PRESS: Tell us about your conflict with the Egyptians. MOSES: Oh, the Egyptians - big people. Strong fighters. Mean as snakes. PRESS: But you got away. MOSES: Not before they got washed away. PRESS: You're talking about the Red Sea conflict. MOSES: You're right. That was scary. PRESS: Tell us what happened. MOSES: Well, the Red Sea was on one side and the Egyptians were on the other. PRESS: So you attacked? MOSES: Are you kidding? With a half-a-million rock stackers? No, my people were too afraid. They wanted to go back to Egypt. PRESS: So you told everyone to retreat? MOSES: Where? Into the water? We didn't have a boat. We didn't have anywhere to go. PRESS: What did your leaders recommend? MOSES: I didn't ask them. There wasn't time. PRESS: Then what did you do? MOSES: I told the people to stand still. PRESS: You mean, with the enemy coming, you told them not to move? MOSES: Yep. I told the people, "Stand still and you will see the Lord save you." PRESS: Why would you want the people to stand still? MOSES: To get out of God's way. If you don't know what to do, it's best Just to sit tight till he does his thing. PRESS: That's odd strategy, don't you think? MOSES: It is if you are big enough for the battle. But when the battle is bigger than you are and you want God to take over, its all you can do. PRESS: Can we talk about something else? MOSES: It's your paper. To be continued . . . By Max Lucado in "When God Whispers Your Name," Published by Thomas Nelson (Apr 1, 1999) ISBN: 0849937418, http://isbn.nu/0849937418 Subjects: Moses, Egypt, News ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR . . . While on the Operating Room Table Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy. Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop Bo! Bo! Comeback with that! Bad Dog! Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that? Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie Oh no! I just lost my Rolex. Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before? There go the lights again... "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. This guy's got two of 'em. Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens! Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off What's this doing here? I hate it when they're missing stuff in here. Source: Early Sunday Funnies and Thoughts Subjects: Surgery, Medical Science ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: More about changing light bulbs: How many Church of England Vicars does it take to change a light bulb? Did you say change!!!!!!!!!! Submitted by Steve Williams (A Church of England Vicar) Subjects: Light Bulbs ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Daylight saving has been used in the United States and in many European countries since World War I, when the system was adopted in order to conserve fuel needed to produce electric power. In 1918, in order to conserve resources for the war effort, Congress placed the country on Daylight Saving Time for the remainder of WW I. It was observed for seven months in 1918 and 1919. The law, however, proved so unpopular (mostly because people rose earlier and went to bed earlier than we do today) that the law was later repealed in 1919 over President Wilson's veto. It was continued in a few states and some cities. During World War II, the United States observed year-round Daylight Saving Time (from February 2nd, 1942 to September 30th, 1945). From 1945 to 1966, there was no federal law about Daylight Saving Time. So, states and localities were free whether to observe or not to observe Daylight Saving Time and could choose when it began and ended. In the early 1960's, observance of Daylight Saving Time was quite inconsistent. On a 35-mile stretch of highway (Route 2) between Moundsville, West Virginia, and Steubenville, Ohio, every bus driver and his passengers had to endure SEVEN TIME CHANGES! Congress decided to step in end the confusion and establish one pattern across the country. The Uniform Time Act of 1966 (15 U.S. Code Section 260a) which was signed into Public Law 89-387 on April 13, 1966, by President Lyndon Johnson, created Daylight Saving Time. It now begins on the first Sunday of April and ends on the last Sunday of October. Source: http://webexhibits.org/daylightsaving/e.html Subjects: Time, Sun |