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WITandWISDOM(tm) - April 4, 2002 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable. - David T Gentry Source: Peter's Pearls, http://www.peterspearls.com.au Subjects: Friendship, Silence ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Johnny had just been to a new Sunday School. When his Mom and Dad asked him who his new teacher was, he replied, "I don't know her name, but I think she must have been Jesus' grandma." "Why do you think that?" his parents asked. "Well," he began, "the way she bragged and bragged so much about Jesus, she had to be His grandma! Submitted by Randy B Culp Subjects: Jesus, Grandmothers, Bragging ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: WHAT I WANT IN A MAN Original List (age 22): 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises 10. Imaginative and romantic What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32): 1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head) 2. Opens car doors, holds chairs 3. Has enough money for a nice dinner 4. Listens as much as talks 5. Laughs at my jokes 6. Carries bags of groceries with ease 7. Owns at least one tie 8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal 9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries 10. Seeks romance at least once a week What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42): 1. Not too ugly (bald head OK) 2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car 3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally 4. Nods head when I'm talking 5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes 6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture 7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach 8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids 9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down 10. Shaves most weekends What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52): 1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed 2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public 3. Doesn't borrow money too often 4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting 5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times 6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends 7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear 8. Appreciates a good TV dinner 9. Remembers my name on occasion 10. Shaves some weekends What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62): 1. Doesn't scare small children 2. Remembers where bathroom is 3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep 4. Only snores lightly when asleep 5. Remembers why he's laughing 6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself 7. Usually wears clothes 8. Likes soft foods 9. Remembers where he left his teeth 10. Remembers that it's the weekend What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72): 1. Breathing 2. Doesn't miss the toilet Submitted by Dave Parker Subjects: Men, Romance, Aging ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A family friend got a summer job as a directory-assistance operator. One day he took a call from a young man seeking the phone number of a person with a very common name. Consulting the listings, our friend saw a long column of possibilities. To narrow the search, he asked the caller, "Do you have a street name?' The young man hesitated, then replied, "Most people call me Tyrone." Source: Reader's Digest, Copyright (c) August 1999, http://www.readersdigest.com Subjects: Communication, Telephone, Misunderstood, Operator ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Chris Peterson was teaching a class in abnormal psychology at Virginia Tech when he told his students to fill out an Attributional Style Questionnaire - a carefully designed test that determines a person's level of optimism and pessimism. The students also answered questions about their general health, including how often they went to a doctor. Peterson followed the health of his students the following year and discovered that the pessimists had twice as many infectious diseases and made twice as many trips to the doctor as the optimists. From Self-Help Stuff That Works, By Khan, Adam, Published by Youme Works (Jan 1, 1999) ISBN: 0962465674, http://isbn.nu/0962465674 Source: Nascent Dew Drops, http://nascentdewdrops.com/ Subjects: Optimists, Pessimists, Health, Tests |