WITandWISDOM™ - E-zine

Prior Date Archive Index Next Date

WITandWISDOM(tm) - June 4, 2002
ISSN 1538-8794

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

We first make our habits, and then our habits make us. - John Dryden

Source: DailyInBox: Proverbs Plus, http://mailroom.dailyinbox.com/pplus/

Subjects: Habits


By Ann Landers

She is compulsive.
I am impulsive.

She likes it hot.
I like it cold.

She is neat.
I'm a slob.

Andy Rooney says, "A's marry Z's."
But we are in different alphabets.

I push.
She pulls.

She says, "Up."
I say, "Down."

She is night.
I am day.

Living together is hard.
Living without her would be impossible.

Submitted by Jerolyn Baldwin

Subjects: Marriage

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:


Golfer: "I've played so poorly all day; I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake."
Caddy: "I doubt you could keep your head down that long."

Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven. You've already moved most of the earth."

Golfer: "Well, I have never played this badly before!
Caddy: "I didn't realize you had played before, sir."

Golfer: "Caddy, do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Oh yes, sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used to."

Golfer: "This golf is a funny game."
Caddy: "It's not supposed to be."

Golfer: "That can't be my ball, caddy. It looks far too old."
Caddy: "It's a long time since we started, sir."

Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5-iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."

Source: Bill's Punch Line, http://www.tcmr.com/billspunchline.html

Subjects: Golf


I Don't Need A Ticket, Ohhhhh?

The operators of a rope tow in a popular ski area were having trouble with non-ticket purchasers sneaking onto the ski lift. Finally, one of the operators stayed at his post operating the tow, while the other, wearing a discarded pair of skis, elbowed his way to the head of the line. The tow operator promptly called him back, "Hey, where's your lift ticket?"

"I don't need a ticket to ride this tow."

At this, the operator produced an ax and, with two blows, deftly chopped off the fronts of his partner's skis, just ahead of his toes.

With the crowd of skiers staring in amazement, the operator lowered his ax and turned to the crowd, "Anyone else out there who doesn't have a lift ticket?"

Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies

Subjects: Skiing

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

What does "i.e." mean?

"i.e." stands for "id est", which is Latin for "that is."

Submitted by Heather Munn

Subjects: Latin, Definitions

WITandWISDOM™ ISSN 1538-8794 - Copyright © 1998-2002 by Richard G. Wimer - All Rights Reserved
Any questions, comments or suggestions may be sent to Richard G. Wimer.