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WITandWISDOM(tm) - August 12, 2002
To get the true value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with. - Mark Twain
Source: Inspire, http://www.inspirelist.com/
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
The Perfect Church
If you could find the perfect church
Without one fault or smear
For goodness sake, don't join that church
You'd spoil the atmosphere.
But since no perfect church exists
Where people never sin
Let's cease looking for that church
And love the one we're in!
Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
Things Children Say . . .
The best laughs I have known in life have been from my own children. I have captured rhetorical comments from my children's discussions. No Pulitzer Prize could ever hold a candle to the notes jotted in this little book in my kitchen.
"I wonder if the tooth fairy is a boy or a girl."
"Mom, what is it like being a grown up? Do you like buying everything you want and giving the kids nothing."
"Mom, what name did you have when you were a kid?"
"I wish I had a birthday everyday."
"If alcohol and cigarettes are bad for you then why did somebody invent them?"
"Mom, are the friends you had as a kid still alive?"
"The cat went to the vegetarian to be neutered."
"It means he'll come back a girl."
"What is a pilgrim?"
"That's the ones who don't know how to plant corn."
"Who picked the very first king and queen there ever was?"
"Mom, when you die, can I be a mom?"
"I can't swallow anything in my neck because my clams are swollen."
"Mom, is there only one man in the world for me? How many are there? About 30 in each country?"
"Does God have a nose?"
"Mom, you're the best mom I ever had."
Source: A Joke a Day http://www.topica.com/lists/ajokeaday7
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
On her way out of the cafeteria, a smartly dressed girl handed the cashier a slip of paper on which appeared the number 1004180.
The cashier glanced at it, and let the girl pass without paying.
When the proprietor appeared, the cashier handed him the note. He studied the number, frowning, then demanded to know its meaning. 'You see,' said the cashier, 'it reads, I owe nothing for I ate nothing.'
Source: Colorado Comments, http://coloradocomments.com/
London, England (Reuters):
A fleet of six bicycle ambulances, complete with flashing blue lights, sirens and heart-starting defibrillators, hit the streets of London on Wednesday.
The brainchild of ambulance man and former British BMX bike racing champion, Tom Lynch, the two-wheeled ambulances will be sent to emergency calls in central London at the same time as their four-wheel counterparts, the ambulance service said.
Trials conducted in 2000 by Lynch himself revealed the bicycles are likely to arrive first in 88 percent of cases.
In a third of calls, the bicycle ambulance man was also able to treat the patient at the scene and cancel the full ambulance response, freeing up much needed capacity for more serious cases.
"Bicycles are the ideal way to cut through slow-moving or stationary traffic so that medical
treatment can be given quickly before other help arrives," Lynch said.
The bicycle ambulances will be targeted primarily at those patients whose conditions are classed as neither serious nor immediately life-threatening, the ambulance service said.
Source: WhiteBoard News, http://www.joeha.com/whiteboard