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WITandWISDOM(tm) - October 10, 2002 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Praise works with only three types of people; men, women, and children. Source: Colorado Comments, http://coloradocomments.com/ ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: A deaf man attended church every week. His handicap prevented him from hearing a word the preacher was saying. He couldn't even hear the singing. "Why do you go to church every week?" a friend signed to him one day. "You can't hear a word of the service." "No," the man replied, "I can't hear a word of the service, but I go because I want the world to know whose side I'm on." Source: 501 Illustrations, By Robert H. Pierson, Copyright (c) 1965, Southern Publishing Association, Nashville, Tennessee, USA ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: THINGS TO NEVER SAY TO A POLICEMAN . . . 1. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 2. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! 3. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. 4. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 5. I pay your salary! 6. Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too! 7. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 8. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there were no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they were. 9. When the Officer says "Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?" Source: Monday Fodder mailto:dgaufaaa@iohk.com?subject=Subscribe_Monday_Fodder ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: Tommy had been elected president of the neighborhood club. His surprised mother asked how it was that he had received such a high honor. "Well, Mother, it was this way," Tommy explained. "The members thought of electing me the treasurer, but I couldn't count. They wanted to elect me secretary, but I couldn't write. So they decided to elect me president." Source: 501 Illustrations, By Robert H. Pierson, Copyright (c) 1965, Southern Publishing Association, Nashville, Tennessee, USA ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Market researchers have found that 90 percent of Americans recognize Louisville Slugger as the trade name of a baseball bat even if they have never been to a professional baseball game, never played in Little League, or never cared much for the game at all. And over the years the name Louisville Slugger has acquired such an influential part in the game that about seven out of 10 professional baseball players take a Louisville Slugger to the plate. One reason for such high recognition is a reputation for quality. Turned on lathes in Louisville, Kentucky, almost all of these famous bats are made of northern white ash trees from New York and Pennsylvania, though a few are made of maple or hackberry. Trees must be at least 60 feet tall before they are cut, and the lumber must season for more than six months before it is turned on the Louisville lathes. As carefully as they are made, however, bats do inevitably break. Babe Ruth once hit 21 home runs with the same bat; it shattered on his twenty-first. Pros in the major and minor leagues use up about 180,000 bats in a baseball season, and the name Louisville Slugger enjoys great respect. Source: Adventist Review, ISSN 0161-1119, (c) July 18, 2002, http://www.adventistreview.org/ |