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WITandWISDOM(tm) - January 9, 2003 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Practice doesn't make perfect, nor is it supposed to. Practice is about increasing your repertoire of ways to recover from your mistakes. - Joann C. Gutin in Discover Source: Reader's Digest, Copyright (c) January 2000, http://www.readersdigest.com/ ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Stalled and Unstalled By Kimberly Luste Maran When I was 8, I spent a wonderful Sunday with my friend Rikki. We raced down the streets on our roller skates, collected stray golf balls from the course beyond the woods behind her house, and dreamed of building a fort. As the earth and sun exchanged orange-purple good-night kisses, I collected my things so that Rikki's mom could drive me home. It had been such a perfect day that I didn't want it to end, and as we pulled out on the first of two main roads we'd traverse before getting to my neighborhood, I childishly prayed: "Lord, please do something. I don't want to go home. I want to stay with my friend and her family." An amazing thing happened. The car stalled, and we had to pull onto the shoulder. I felt my face turn red, and I tried to look innocent, sure that God had answered my prayer. I was elated for a few seconds as Rikki's mom tried - and failed - to start the car. Then I thought about it. I felt very bad and realized how selfish my request had been. And yet, I mused, God had granted it! The next prayer I offered was: "I'm sorry, God; would You please make Mrs. Stenbakken's car work? I'm really sorry. I don't want her to be upset and have to worry about fixing the car, paying extra money they don't have. I've changed my mind; I want to go home. Please make the car start." The next time she turned the key, the car roared to life. Source: Adventist Review, ISSN 0161-1119, (c) September 26, 2002, http://www.adventistreview.org/ Submitted by Nancy Simpson ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: A Secretary's Rules For Their Boss "Rules Of Work" 1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing. 2. If it is really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it is going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me, and advise me at every keystroke. 3. Always leave without telling anyone where you are going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are. 4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, do not open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs. 5. If you give me more than one job to do, do not tell me which is priority. I am psychic. 6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work. 7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion. 8. If you do not like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped. 9. If you have special instructions for a job, do not write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information. 10. Never introduce me to the people you are with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them. 11. Be nice to me only when the job I am doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager's hell. 12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it is nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so many taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager. 13. Wait until my yearly review and then tell me what my goals should have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I am not here for the money anyway. Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: If it was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called labor. Cited in Bits & Pieces magazine, http://www2.ragan.com/html/main.isx?sub=1249 Source : DailyInBox: Bits & Pieces, http://your.dailyinbox.com/bp/ ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: For a Happy New Year wish visit: http://www2.incredimail.com/multimedia/flash/new_year4.swf Submitted by Hannelore Dill |