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WITandWISDOM(tm) - February 5, 2003 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "We expect more of ourselves than we have any right to." -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. Source: Quotes of the Day, mailto:rheamo@centurytel.net?subject=Subscribe_Quotes_of_the_Day ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: How to Get Rid of Your Preacher . . . 1. Look him straight in the eye and say "Amen" once in awhile. He'll preach himself to death within a few weeks. 2. Pat him on the back and brag on his good points. He'll work himself to death. 3. Start paying him a living wage. He's probably been on starvation wages for so long he'll eat himself to death. 4. Rededicate your own life and ask the preacher to give you a job to do. He'll probably die of heart failure. 5. Get the congregation to unite in prayer for the pastor. He'll become so effective some larger church will soon take him off your hands. Source: Frank's Daily Chuckles ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? Dr. Seuss Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told! Ernest Hemingway To die. In the rain. Alone. Martin Luther King, Jr. I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. Grandpa In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. Barbara Walters Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it had a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road. John Lennon Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace. Aristotle It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. Karl Marx It was a historical inevitability. Voltaire I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it. Captain Kirk To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. Albert Einstein Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? Colonel Sanders I missed one? Source: Quotes of the Day, mailto:rheamo@centurytel.net?subject=Subscribe_Quotes_of_the_Day ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: Where's Mommy? One evening after dinner, a five-year-old boy noticed that his mother had gone out and he asked his father, "Where did mommy go?" In answer to his question, he was told, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party." This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. Puzzled, he asked, "What's a Tupperware party, daddy?" The man had always given his son honest answers, so he figured a simple explanation would be the best approach. "Well, son," he said, "at a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other." He nodded, indicating that he understood this curious pastime... Then he burst out into laughter, and said, "Come on, Dad! What is it really?" Source: Good, Clean Funnies, http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: WITandWISDOM(tm) Statistics - January 2003 WEBSITE Number of visits: 7,956 Number of pages viewed: 27,586 E-MAIL LIST Number of subscribers: 3,730 Number of countries represented: 51 List of countries: Australia, Belgium, Bahrain, Bermuda, Brazil, Botswana, Canada, Switzerland, Columbia, Cuba, Germany, Spain, Finland, France, Hong Kong, Croatia, Hungary, Indonesia, Ireland, Israel, India, Italy, British Indian Ocean Territory, Japan, Kenya, Republic of Korea, Cayman Islands, Lebanon, Madagascar, Mauritius, Malaysia, Nigeria, Nicaragua, Netherlands, Niue, New Zealand, Philippines, Pakistan, Romania, Russian Federation, Singapore, Sao Tome & Principe, Swaziland, Thailand, Tanzania, United Kingdom, United States of America, Vietnam, South Africa, Zambia, Zimbabwe |