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WITandWISDOM(tm) - April 24, 2003 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Everybody is ignorant. Only on different subjects. - Will Rogers Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: The car was wrecked. That was reality, and there was no undoing the deed. A quick glance around found that no one was hurt except me: I had crushed my teenage pride. Miraculously, the car was still driveable. My passengers - a teen I'd hoped to impress and two adults (her mother and mine) - were uncharacteristically mute as we resumed the short journey back to our vacation quarters at the local hotel. The silence was heavier than an early snowfall and just as cold. It was the dreaded end of the journey that messed with my mind. How was I going to explain the wreck to the car's owner when, even by the most merciful analysis, my carelessness had caused it? I'd been watching a little airplane that was flying parallel to the road when the traffic ahead stopped. I stopped too - in the back of a Ford and its innocent driver. Like the rest of us, he was unhurt and so was his car. I'd hit his trailer hitch. What would I say to the owner of the car I had borrowed - and what would he say to me? No excuse would unbend the grill or straighten the buckled fender. Lying was out of the question. I don't do that. Besides, there were all those witnesses. It was my fault. Wanting to get the confession out of the way quickly, I went looking for the owner. It took me a couple hours to locate him, and by then he'd already heard. Bad news, it seems, travels fast. He was rather tight-lipped as he suggested, "Let's go take a look." The grill was bent and cut into a jack-o-lantern like leer, and the fender suggested that a tumor was bulging from underneath. "No one was hurt?" It was half question, half statement. "No." My answer was little more than a shake of the head. "The other driver?" "No." "Well, we'll get it fixed. It'll be OK!" I was stunned. "But Dad, aren't you even going to yell at me, tell me I can never drive your car again? Aren't you going to be mad and make me pay for it?" "Yelling isn't going to fix the car," he said. "I know you don't have any money, and what good would getting angry do? It'll be OK. Nobody was hurt. You're my son. That's what matters. Suddenly, grace took on a whole new meaning! By Thomas Lemon, Denver, Colorado Source: Signs of the Times, Copyright (c) February 2003, Pacific Press, http://www.signstimes.com Submitted by Dale Galusha ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: What if Cinderella had found the other slipper Because she didn't fall and no one tripped her? Prince Charming would have wound up a bachelor As he certainly wouldn't have been a match for her. Cinderella would still be washing floors and walls Instead of dining in a stately mansion of big halls. Her dress would not be made of silk and lace. Nor would she have a delicate young face. Her hands would be rough from hot cleaning water, And she truly would be the ugliest daughter. No one would want to kiss her cheek, And her future would look very bleak. She never would have met Prince Charming Which would have been somewhat alarming. But she didn't find that other shoe So the story ended - and happily too. Written by: Terry Semones, Monroe, MI Source: The Flush(tm), http://www.funinmichigan.com/index.htm ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A DJ was introducing a record. "This next one," he said, "is for Charlotte Burke, who is a hundred and eleven. Hey, Charlotte, congratulations on a ripe old age!" There was a short pause and then the DJ said in a somewhat more subdued voice, "I'm sorry, I got it wrong. This next one is for Charlotte Burke, who is ill." Source: The Flush(tm), http://www.funinmichigan.com/index.htm ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Contrails The grounding of aircraft after September 11 helped University of Wisconsin climatologist David Travis prove a hunch: Jet contrails moderate; Earth's temperatures. From September 11 to 13, 2001, the average daily gap between the coldest and warmest temperatures was 3 degrees Fahrenheit larger than it was during the same days in the previous 30 years. Travis' explanation: Cirrus-like clouds from contrails act as insulators, cooling during the day and limiting nighttime heat escape. Source: Popular Science, January 2003, http://popsci.com Submitted by Joe Kinnane |