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WITandWISDOM(tm) - August 12, 2003 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Real virtue lies not in heroically saving orphans from burning buildings but in steadfastly working for a world where orphans are not poor and buildings have decent fire codes. - Randy Cohen, writer of the weekly column "The Ethicist" for The New York Times Magazine ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: It is 4:00 A.M. and dark, when Mark, his father, and three boys leave the farm with five tons of watermelons. His father drives ahead, and Mark is driving the truck. The three boys are asleep in the front seat. Before leaving, Mark's family had knelt to ask for the Lord's watch care and protection over them. The route includes a long slope where one highway dead-ends into another. Mark is driving at a safe speed down the slope when his father's brake lights flash. But when Mark applies his brakes, a cold realization hits him - he has no brakes! There is no time to pray now, only time to trust. Straight ahead is a dirt bank; to hit it anytime would be bad enough, but with five tons of watermelons behind the four young men, they will be crushed. Mark must attempt the turn. His speed is too great, and he can't possibly make it; but he must try. Mark carefully pulls the steering wheel to the left, but the truck with its heavy cargo wants to go straight. Somehow, the truck begins to turn; the tension on the tires is so great that grooves are gouged in the pavement by the rims. Mark knows that the truck is going to roll over if he keeps on trying to turn, and five tons of watermelons will be on top of him and his three young friends. Suddenly, he notes the bank is somewhat lower ahead. Perhaps he can make it. Mark straightens the wheel, and the truck rockets up the bank, leaving the ground as it catapults into the field beyond. As the truck lands upright the boys awaken and ask, "What happened?" Mark is still at the wheel, and the truck is still moving across the field, where it finally comes to a stop. In the process, three watermelons were lost and a few more were broken when the truck hit the ground - that's all. No one knew until daylight that if Mark had held on to the turn for a fraction of a second longer, the truck would have landed in a canyon instead of the soft field. The angels were busy for a few seconds, don't you think? Mark thinks so! Source: Glimpses of God's Love by James A. Tucker and Priscilla Tucker, Copyright (c) 1983 by Review and Herald Publishing Association, http://isbn.nu/0828002169 Submitted by Nancy Simpson ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: Caddie Comebacks Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?" Caddy: "Yes sir! You're much closer to actually hitting the ball, now." Golfer: "Do you think I can reach the green with a five-iron?" Caddy: "Eventually." Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time! It's such a distraction." Caddy: "It's not my watch, sir. It's a compass." Golfer: "How do you like my game?" Caddy: "It's very nice, sir, but personally I prefer golf." Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on." Caddy: "Oh, we left the actual golf course about an hour ago, sir." Golfer: "That can't be my ball. It's too old." Caddy: "Well, sir, it's been a long time since we teed off." Source: Flint Friday Funny, mailto:baldmark@myexcel.com?subject=Subscribe_Flint_Friday_Funny ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: Our Lamaze class included a tour of the pediatric wing of the hospital. When a new baby was brought into the nursery, all the women tried to guess its weight, but only one man even ventured a number. "Looks like 9 pounds," he offered confidently. "You must have a lot of experience with newborns," said the nurse. "Oh, no," he said. "It's my first." "Then how could you guess the weight of a baby so closely?" He shrugged, "I'm a fisherman." Source: Absolute Humor, http://absoluterobeo.com ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Frida, an octopus in a German zoo, has learned to open jars of shrimp by watching zoo attendants perform the act underwater. - Reuters For more information visit: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/low/europe/2796607.stm Sourc e: The Oregonian, Copyright (c) March 6, 2003, http://www.oregonian.com/ Submitted by Barbara Henry |