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WITandWISDOM(tm) - October 30, 2003 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Criticism should always leave people with the feeling that they have been helped. Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: A naval officer whose ship was being buffeted by a storm was confronted by his wife, who cried out with alarm, "Oh, how can you be so calm in such a storm?" He arose and drew his sword. Pointing it at his wife's breast, he asked, "Aren't you afraid?" She instantly replied, "No, of course not." "Why?" asked the officer. "Because," she said, "I know the sword is in the hand of my husband, and you love me too much to hurt me." "Then," said he, "remember, I know Whom I have believed and know that He holds the winds in His fist and the waters in the hollow of His Hand." -Spiro Zodhiates Source: Monday Fodder mailto:dgaufaaa@iohk.com?subject=Subscribe_Monday_Fodder ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: A lady was browsing through everything at a yard sale and said to the hostess, "My husband is going to be so upset when he finds out I stopped at a yard sale." "I'm sure he'll understand when you tell him about all the bargains you found," the hostess replied. "Normally, yes," the lady said. "But he just broke his leg, and he's waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set." Source: Ed Peacher's "Laughter for a Saturday" mailto:ed548@yahoo.com?subject=Subscribe_to_Laughter_for_a_Saturday ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: Laundry instructions on a shirt made by HEET (Korea): For best results: Wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good results: Drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roof rack. Source: The Sixth Sense - The Sense of Humor ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Measuring Time: 1 picosecond (one-trillionth of a second) - This is about the shortest period of time we can currently measure accurately. 1 nanosecond (one- billionth of a second) - 2 - 4 nanoseconds is the length of time that a typical home computer spends executing one software instruction. 1 millisecond (one- thousandth of a second) - This is the typical fastest time for the exposure of film in a normal camera. 1 decisecond (one-tenth of a second) - A blink of an eye. 1 second - An average person's heart beats once each second. From: RefDesk.com, http://refdesk.com/ Source: Gleaner, November 2003, ISSN 0746-5874, mailto:gleaner@npuc.org Submitted by Nancy Simpson |