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WITandWISDOM(tm) - April 12, 2004 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that. - Norman Vincent Peale Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Once a ragged little boy was gazing at a picture of Christ in a shop window. "Who is that?" asked a gentleman who noticed the lad. The boy looked at the man in a surprised way, as if he pitied his ignorance, and explained, "That's Jesus." Then he went on to tell who Jesus was and something about what He did, and at the end of the story, the boy's voice became a mere whisper as he said, "And they crucified Him, mister! They crucified Him!" The gentleman turned away, but the ragged little fellow shouted happily after him, "Stop, mister! I didn't tell you the best part. He rose again, mister, He rose again!" By Amos R. Wells Source: Signs of the Times, Copyright (c) January 18, 1938, Pacific Press, http://www.signstimes.com ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: Survival Tips Don't sweat your every mistake or faux pas. They make up for the things you got away with that nobody knows about. Avoid marrying anyone who deliberately flushes the toilet when you're taking a shower. When someone tells you that what he's about to say is "for your own good," expect the worst. The value of a dog is its constant reminder of how much fun it is to act idiotic. If you are lavishly praised, enjoy the taste but don't swallow it whole. When a politician says, "let me make something perfectly clear, remember that he usually won't. You children may leave home, but their stuff will be in your attic and basement forever. If someone says, "I know what I mean, but I just can't put it into words," he doesn't know what he means. Two people cannot operate a TV remote control in the same room at the same time. Don't waste time trying to be your own best friend. You can't pat yourself on the back, and it's unsatisfying to cry on your own shoulder. Find a real friend instead. Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: Quote by Steve Browne, Chief Meteorologist of KSAT 12 (ABC affiliate) of San Antonio TX, before he predicted heavy rain on Easter Sunday: "I am about to be as popular as fire ants in a sleeping bag." Submitted by Kiri Hyatt ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Noise affects human behavior. In one experiment carried out by psychologists, a student leaving a library intentionally dropped an armload of books. In 50% of the cases, a passerby stopped to help the student pick up the books. Then the experimenters brought out a lawn mower without a muffler and started it near where a student would again intentionally drop the books. This time, only about 10% of the people who passed stopped to help. - Source Unknown Pulpit Pieces Weekly, http://www.net153.com/best.htm NOTE: Correction to April 6’s trivia: The Nokia message tone is three dots, two dashes, and three dots. It spells out S-M-S in Morse code, for short message service. - Jon Joaquin & Graham Starling |