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WITandWISDOM(tm) - June 4, 2004 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: All human wisdom is summed up in two words: wait and hope. - Alexandre Dumas (1802 - 1870), Writer Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Our missionary friends, Mike and Mary, saw God’s provision as they spent the first ten years of their marriage in Mexico and Bolivia. On one occasion, when Mary was pregnant and was attending language school, they were short on groceries. She felt impressed to write out a grocery list, though she had no money to purchase the food. That very afternoon the doorbell rang, and they found two bags of groceries on the steps. Those bags contained the exact items on her list! Only one item was missing: bread. A few hours later, when Mike went to his part-time job, a bakery truck pulled up to his workplace and gave them some day-old bread. When Mike brought the bread home, Mary broke down and cried tears of joy and thanksgiving. Her thankfulness to the Lord just overwhelmed her! By Barb Marshall, Canal Winchester, Ohio Source: Signs of the Times, Copyright (c) May 2004, Pacific Press, http://www.signstimes.com ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: Women On Haircuts Woman 1: Oh! That haircut is so cute! Woman 2: You think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, don't you think it's too fluffy-looking? Woman 1: Oh no! It's perfect! I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this look, I think. Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable! And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute, I think. I was actually going to do that except I was afraid it would accentuate my long neck. Woman 1: Oh, that's funny! I would love to have your neck. Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line. Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would kill for your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms. See how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get . . . Men On Haircuts Man 1: Haircut? Man 2: Yeah. Source: Joke For Your Day, mailto:baldmark@comcast.net?subject=Subscribe_Joke_For_Your_Day ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: As a fellow policeman and I were eating lunch in a cafe, we heard a woman nearby say loudly, "Jimmy, if you don't eat all your peas, I'll have those policemen come over and talk to you." My friend promptly walked over to the five-year-old who was being scolded. "Jimmy," he said, just as loudly, "I'm six-foot-two and weigh 200 pounds. And I never ate a pea in my life." As we left, the other patrons were laughing, Jimmy's mother was absolutely silent, and a smiling Jimmy was no longer afraid of policemen. Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: If a Texan oil baron drilled through the center of the Earth and out the other side, then jumped into the hole, what would happen to him? a] He would travel through, gathering speed; upon reaching the other side he'd launch hundreds of feet into the air b] He would get enough of a boost from his Earth "fly-through" to launch into the outer solar system c] He would speed up, slow down, then stop just as he reached Earth's center d] He would speed up as he approached Earth's center, and slow down going away from it, forever oscillating between the two ends of the hole Answer: The correct answer is the one by the fourth letter of the alphabet. Source: Popular Science, Copyright © February 2004, http://popsci.com |