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WITandWISDOM(tm) - February 25, 2005 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "When all men think alike, no one thinks very much." - Walter Lippmann Source: Quotes of the Day, mailto:rheamo@centurytel.net?subject=Subscribe_Quotes_of_the_Day ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: A wealthy lawyer was walking along a crowded sidewalk in London when he felt a hand slip into his pocket. He whirled around and seized the thief by the wrist. "Why did you try to rob me?" James Henderson demanded sternly. "Because, sir," the surprised man said, "I am out of work and I am hungry." "Come along with me," Henderson said. And he took the penniless man to a restaurant and ordered meals for two. When they had finished eating, the man told how he had been in prison and found it difficult to obtain a job because of his bad name. "I have no name. There is nothing left but to return to the old life of crime. What can a man do without a name?" The story and the question greatly impressed the lawyer. After some thought, he said, "For forty years I have borne the name of James Henderson unsullied. You say you have no name? I'll give you my name. Take your new name out into the world and keep it clean and honorable." "Do you really mean it?" cried the thief brokenly. "Of course I mean it," said the lawyer. "And to prove it. I'll recommend you, in the name of James Henderson, to a manufacturing firm with whom I have some influence." : The lawyer found a job for the former thief and kept in touch for many months. However, through travel and change of residence, he lost contact with his namesake. One evening 15 years later, he was told that a visitor waited for him in the reception room. He was startled to read the name "James Henderson" on the man's card. Entering the reception room, he discovered a tall, striking man dressed like a gentleman. As they shook hands, the visitor said, "Sir, I have called to tell you that today I have been made a partner in the firm to which you recommended me fifteen years ago. All that you see me to be, I owe to your noble generosity; and above all, to the gift of your name. The name of James Henderson is still unsullied. God bless you, sir, and reward you!" Source: Signs of the Times, Copyright (c) June 2004, Pacific Press, http://www.signstimes.com ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: New Help Request Form From Your Computer Technology Department 1. Describe your problem: ____________ 2. Now describe it accurately: _____________ 3. Speculate wildly about its cause: _______________ 4. Problem Severity: Minor __ Minor __ Minor __ Trivial __ 5. Nature of the problem: Locked Up __ Frozen __ Shoe in Monitor __ Beaten with a Club __ 6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes __ No __ 7. Is it turned on? Yes __ No __ 8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes __ No __ 9. Have you made it worse? Yes __ 10. Have you read the manual? Yes __ No __ 11. Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes __ No __ 12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No __ 13. Do you think you understood it? Yes __ No __ 14. If "Yes," why do you still have a problem? ________ 15. How tall are you? Are you above this line? ________ 16. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes __ No __ 17. Did anyone else see this problem? Yes __ No __ 18. It's probably a nice day. Why aren't you outside playing? ________ Source: Mark Mail, http://mrhumor.net ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy 2 servings per night, and a few more on weekends. I consume 3,500 calories of chocolate in a week, which equals one pound of weight per week. Therefore... In the last 3 1/2 years, I have had chocolate caloric intake of about 180 pounds, and I only weigh 155 pounds, so without chocolate, I would have wasted away to nothing about 3 months ago! I owe my life to chocolate. Source: Molly's Quotes of the Day, mailto:rheamo@centurytel.net?subject=Subscribe_Quotes_of_the_Day ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: One Million Pennies A Los Angeles man, Ron England, is trying to get rid of his pennies — all 1 million of them, stacked up in 20,000 rolls that fill 13 boxes in his garage and weigh 3.6 tons. Now that he's retiring to Oregon, England wants to cash them in, but he's had a tough time finding someone who will take $10,000 in pennies. The Coinstar machine at his supermarket isn't exactly made to accept, a million pennies. An artist who welds couches out of pennies declined to call him back. His bank, Washington Mutual, is charging 10 cents a roll and will only take 200 rolls, or $100 per week. That's 20 months of deposits. England refuses to pay extra. "I'm stubborn," he said. "If I have to haul all these pennies to Oregon, I will, 'cause I'm not gonna pay. "I should have saved dimes. I'd have a lot more money, and it would weigh a lot less." The Associated Press Source: Peninsula Daily News, July 5, 2004, http://peninsuladailynews.com ~~~~~~~ GRANADA HILLS, Calif. (AP) 7-12-04 — As a follow-up to a story previously reported in Out There: A movie studio projectionist has found a buyer for the one million pennies he's amassed in his garage over 30 years. The grocery chain Vons/Pavilions has agreed to buy the $10,000 in copper from 60-year-old Ron England of Granada Hills. He's retiring to Oregon and found the 3.6 tons in pennies too unwieldy to move. The company plans to donate half the coins to charity. England bet his brother he could collect the pennies in return for a dinner in Paris. Next Thursday, Vons/Pavilions will send out armored cars for England's 20,000 rolls of coins. Source: Fox News |