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WITandWISDOM(tm) - April 19, 2005 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: To know how to wait is the great secret of success. - Joseph Marie De Maistre Source: Quote Lady's Quote of the Day, mailto:quote-a-day-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Alan Devoe found a little mourning dove hurt and gasping beside the road. Frightened when he picked it up, the dove responded to the fresh water, seeds, and berries offered in the cage where Devoe cared for it. In eight days it was well, its wild eyes gloaming. Taking the cage to the top of a wooded hill, Devoe opened the door. The dove darted out and flew into the woods. A week later when Devoe was sitting quietly on a stump watching a family of white mice, a bird suddenly flew to him and perched on his arm. The same mourning dove had stopped a few seconds, just long enough to say, "Thank you." Phil Traband was hiking through a clearing of tall grass near an Oklahoma woods when he heard a sound like a crying baby. Turning, he was startled to see a wildcat coming toward him slowly. Knowing wildcats are usually mean, he was scared. Yet something about it made him stand still. As it came closer he noticed its mouth and muzzle were swollen. Traband squatted, taking the animal's head in his hands. Gently he pried open the swollen mouth. The tongue, pierced by a sharp tooth, was held fast. The animal couldn't eat. The wound was infected. Carefully, though he knew it hurt terribly, he loosed the swollen tongue, ready to run if need be. The wildcat never moved. When he had finished it stood looking at him. Cautiously Triband stroked its fur, receiving a grateful "Meeow" in return. Then it disappeared into the woods. If wild creatures can show their gratitude, why do we forget to praise God for our blessings? Source: Stop, Look and Listen by Eileen E. and Jay H. Lantry, Copyright(c)1976 by Review and Herald Publishing Association, LCCN 75-32229 Submitted by Mary Thayne ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: AT NEW YORK's Kennedy airport, an individual – later discovered to be a public school teacher - was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the U. S. Attorney General disclosed that he believes the man to be a member of the notorious algebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," he declared. "They seek average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to argue, there are three sides to every triangle." When asked to comment on the arrest, the President stated, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes. I am gratified that our government has shown us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs, who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence. Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line." The President warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen, unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor in random facts of vertex." The Attorney General concluded, "As our Great Leader would say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertain of: though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens." Submitted by Pastor John L. Bechtel, http://www.tagnet.org/fremont/ ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: While getting my hair cut at a neighborhood shop, I asked the barber when would be the best time to bring in my two-year-old son. Without hesitation, the barber answered, "When he's four." Source: Top Greetings ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: A convicted murderer has been released in Argentina after his 'victim' turned up alive and well. Ruben Dario Ovejero, from Tucuman, was arrested in 2003 after he was accused of murdering Pedro Roldan. He maintained he was innocent but he was found guilty by a local judge and sent to Villa Urquiza prison. But last week Mr Roldan was spotted alive on the streets of Tucuman by Mr Ovejero's sister. She told La Gaceta newspaper: "I woke up with my daughter screaming she had seen a ghost but it was Mr Roldan, alive and drunk walking the streets! "When I saw him I almost died, I was so scared. But then I grabbed him by the ears and told him my brother was in prison." Mr Roldan told the police he had moved to another town to try his luck and had no idea people thought he was dead. Source: Ananova http://www.ananova.com