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WITandWISDOM(tm) - June 13, 2005 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "Books were my pass to personal freedom. I learned to read at age three, and soon discovered there was a whole world to conquer that went beyond our farm in Mississippi." - Oprah Winfrey Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: One morning an excited Bostonian rushed into the office of a Dr. Everett. A local newspaper had published an article about him, he said, which severely criticized his conduct. He wanted to know if Dr. Everett thought he should demand that an apology be printed, or if he should take legal action, asking for damages. It was a good time for the doctor to remain calm and cool. Listening quietly while his visitor raved and fumed and sputtered, he finally had a chance to give the man some counsel. "My dear sir," he said, "I would do nothing. Half the people who got that paper never saw the article. Half of those who read it did not understand it. Half of those who did understand it did not believe it. Half of those who believed it were of no importance anyway." At one time somebody told President Lincoln that Stanton, his Secretary of War, had called him a fool. Lincoln replied that it must be true, for "Stanton is usually right." A teacher of elocution went a long distance one night to hear Mr. Beecher deliver an address. When the sermon was finished, he pushed up to the front and said to the speaker, "Mr. Beecher, I am an elocution teacher from the State of New Jersey. I came over to hear the greatest American preacher, but I am terribly disappointed." "What is the matter now?" asked Beecher. "Well, sir, I counted eighty errors in grammar in your sermon." "Is that all?" asked Beecher. "I would have wagered my old hat that there were over eight hundred if you hadn’t told me." We so often get our blood pressure up over something someone is supposed to have said about us. Maybe they said it, and maybe they didn't. If they did say something about us, perhaps the report which has reached us is terribly exaggerated. Most rumors or stories, if ignored, will die a natural death in a short time. One thing is sure, our friends will not believe them. If someone is telling the truth about us, we surely should not object to that. If it is not true, why worry about it? By James Wallace Reprinted from Our Times, June 1949 Source: Signs of the Times, Copyright (c) March 2005, Pacific Press, http://www.signstimes.com ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: "Sniglets" were invented by Rich Hall and featured prominently on a comedy show called "Not Necessarily the News" which was broadcast on HBO. What are sniglets? Sniglets are words that you won't find in the dictionary, but aptly describe reality. Part 2 of 3 [ June 3, 13, 23] Jiffylust - The passionate desire to be the first person to dip into a brand new jar of peanut butter. Kawashocky - Pulling into what you thought was an empty parking space, only to discover a motorcycle is parked there. Keyfruit - The one apple, pear, or other fruit in the display which, when removed, causes the entire pile to collapse. Laminites - The people pictured in the photographs that come with new wallets. Maypop - A bald tire. Microtrek - Repeated trips to the microwave to make sure the food hasn't been overcooked. Mowmuffins - The accumulated clumps of dried grass on the underside of the lawn mower. Negatile - That one spot on the bathroom floor where the scale says you weigh five pounds less. Optortionist - The kid at school who could turn his eyelids inside out. Pajangle - Waking up to find your pajamas have turned 180 degrees around while you were sleeping. Phonesia - Forgetting who you were calling just as that person picks up the phone. Source: A Joke a Day http://www.topica.com/lists/ajokeaday7 ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: Tech support people like me spend our days on the phone with customers. Many like to chat while waiting for their computers to reboot. One man told me he'd been a long-haul truck driver. I'd love to drive a big rig," I said, "but I'd worry about falling asleep at the wheel." "Here's a tip to stay awake," he offered. "Put a $100 bill in your left hand and hold it out the window." Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: dMarie Time Capsule The dMarie Time Capsule has 'data online for the years 1800 through 2002, although data for the years 1800 - 1875 is probably spotty.' Here's a neat way to look up specific dates in history. There is capability for a 'Quick Page' that gives you 'Top News Headlines This Week,' 'Top Songs,' and 'Prices' for basic items. http://www.dmarie.com/timecap/ Source: DailyInBox Presents, http://dailyinbox.com